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Fashion hits and misses from the Golden Globes

You know it’s going to be a red carpet worth watching when Helena Bonham Carter has a nomination. She lived up to her hot mess reputation at the 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards, a pair of mismatched shoes being the least of her offenses. But, she wasn’t the only celebrity who had fashion critics looking for new ways to slam a dress. Luckily, a Hollywood icon’s exposed areola provided new material. All in all, there were just as many dazzlers as doozies at this year’s Golden Globes.

Anne Hathaway’s stunning Giorgio Armani Prive gown fell on the dazzler side of things. It was the same mullet cut Hilary Swank chose with her midnight blue Guy Laroche Oscar gown in ’05: business in the front, party in the back. Although, considering Hathaway’s derriere deficit, Swank threw a better party.

“Easy A” actress and Lindsay Lohan lookalike Emma Stone stood out in a nice pop of peach. Her Calvin Klein Collection sheath dress demonstrated the upcoming spring trend of bright minimalism. Like Hathaway, Stone’s dress also revealed her back as did Eva Longoria’s stunning Zac Posen fishtail gown with an embellished belt and Queen Anne neckline. Surely the black classic dress with a glovelike fit had Tony Parker eating his heart out — and asking for seconds.

Olivia Wilde wore a sparkler of a dress with her Marchesa ball gown. She reportedly paired it with a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes in metallic gold, but the billow of the skirt never gave us a peek at those. Kyra Sedgewick’s goddessy Emilio Pucci number in pumpkin orange, coupled with gorgeous green drop earrings and a stack of gold bangles shook things up. Katey Sagal went with orange, too, proving that Peg Bundy cleans up nice. The “Sons of Anarchy” actress picked up her globe for best actress in a plunging Douglas Hannant ruched gown.

The big color trend on the red carpet, however, was green. Mila Kunis (Vera Wang), Angelina Jolie (Versace), Elizabeth Moss (Donna Karan) and Catherine Zeta-Jones (Monique Lhuillier) all wore emerald or a shade close to it.

Zeta-Jones did a ball gown, middle parted hair and chandelier earrings, a look we’ve seen half a dozen times on her. Other nauseatingly predictable looks came from Carrie Underwood, who did a neutral shimmering Badgley Mischka gown with a pretty updo. Sofia Vergara went with a sexy Vera Wang dress in red and wore her hair long and flowing. All women looked lovely, inspiring the most beautiful yawn the audience has ever had.

That’s why we applaud Jennifer Lopez for surprising us with an elegant look. The white Zuhair Murad drapey dress showed just enough of her killer curves. It’s high time she let go of the JLo image and embrace the Jennifer “40-something and mother of two” Lopez look.

Speaking of the JLo image, it seems January Jones of “Mad Men” hoped to have a Versace moment of her own on the red carpet. Perhaps if Jones were at the Grammys her cutout dress would’ve worked better. We’re glad to see Betty Draper has something sufficient happening under all those sweater sets, but it was a little much.

Another letdown was Natalie Portman. She looked fine in her pink Viktor & Rolf, pregnancy-friendly draped gown, but when you’re the “it girl” of the red carpet, fine just isn’t good enough.

A tip to Leighton Meester, who wore Burberry Prorsum, and Tilda Swinton in Jil Sander: comfort over couture, ladies. If you can’t gracefully walk across the stage in it, try the next fashion freebie.

Halle Berry, on the other hand, had no problem walking. We just wonder where exactly she was headed. Her Nina Ricci negligee number looked as if she just dimmed the lights, lit some candles and slipped into something more comfortable. At least her black sheer dress wasn’t giving us the same peekaboo Jane Fonda’s dress did. Let’s leave exposed nipples to the Super Bowl.

The most anti-climactic fashion moment of the evening went to Michelle Williams, whose Valentino dress looked like a glorified Forever 21 sundress. The embellished straps, daisy print and side ruffles did absolutely nothing for the “Blue Valentine” actress. Considering she knocked critics out five years ago on another red carpet when she donned a mustard Vera Wang gown, we simply expected more. Much more. Hopefully she doesn’t disappoint at the Oscars.

Lucky for her — and the rest of the worst-dressed — the unfiltered host for the evening, Ricky Gervais, didn’t have any fashion commentary in his arsenal. Surely that would’ve inspired a few more emergency therapy sessions the next morning.

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