Las Vegas gifts to cheer friends, family after day of shoveling snow

Christmas is the perfect time to remind friends and family back east that you live in a warm place where anything goes, and they don’t.

We scoured local gift shops for the cheesiest Las Vegas trinkets we could find to send them in the spirit of holiday cheer. These are the ones we could print in a family newspaper.

POLE DANCER

ALARM CLOCK

($32.99 at Bonanza Gifts Shop, 2440 Las Vegas Blvd. South):

Lights flash and a tacky tune blasts as the scantily clad lady revolves, reminding your cousin Irving that, a) it’s time to get up for that job he dreads, and b) he lives alone, because no wife would have allowed him to hook this thing up.

CROOKED LAS VEGAS DICE

($3.97 at Coyote, 316 Fremont St.):

They’re weighted to roll only sevens and 11s. In case idiocy runs in your family, the packaging warns: “Do not try to use in casinos.”

“LAS VEGAS COUNTY JAIL” T-SHIRT

($7.99 at Viva Vegas, Fashion Show mall,

3200 Las Vegas Blvd. South):

No need to buy this for the crooked-dice recipient — if he uses his other present in a casino. (He’ll get the genuine article for free.)

VEGAS EGG TIMER PAPERWEIGHT

($3.97 at Crazy Ely’s, 323 Fremont St.): Sure, it’s a biting commentary on how fast one’s money disappears in Vegas. However, three perfectly good pennies are trapped inside. So your gift will be reports of how fun it was to watch Aunt Bertha try to remove them.

“I LOST MY ASS

IN LAS VEGAS”

HALF A COFFEE CUP

($4.95 at Welcome to Las Vegas Gift Shop, Fashion Show mall, 3200 Las Vegas Blvd. South):

This is practical as well as humorous. Once we all become homeless, it will require fewer coins to make the cup appear full.

“WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS” SHOT GLASS ($4.97 at Coyote, 316 Fremont St.):

Talk about body shots. The pretty lady is glued to the rim, so the alcohol must pour over her. Time to coin the term “hot-filtered.”

“VEGAS PIMP” 5 OUNCE STAINLESS STEEL FLASK

($6.99 at Viva Vegas, Fashion Show mall, 3200 Las Vegas Blvd. South):

Nothing says pimp like anything that says “pimp” on it. In other words, this is a gift best presented ironically.

“THE TRAVELER’S GUIDE TO THE BEST CAT HOUSES IN NEVADA”

($10.99 at Bonanza Gifts Shop, 2440 Las Vegas Blvd. South):

What your friend will really need is a guide to how to explain this to his wife. (For extra fun, send it in a box marked “amazon.com,” so it looks like he ordered it himself.)

GIANT LAS VEGAS BEER BOTTLE PIGGY BANK

($9.99 at Bonanza Gifts Shop, 2440 Las Vegas Blvd. South):

A nifty reminder of what thousands and thousands of saved coins will buy if the economy continues tanking: one bottle of beer.

“CSI: LAS VEGAS” EVIDENCE BAG AND LED FLASHLIGHT

($9.99 for the bag, $12.99 for the light at Bonanza Gifts Shop, 2440 Las Vegas Blvd. South):

These handy tools will prove crucial in the ongoing investigation into why your friends are such nerds.

ad-high_impact_4
Life
Operation Homefront Holiday Meals for Military
Operation Homefront Holiday Meals for Military program gave meal kits to 200 families at Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 10047 in Las Vegas Wednesday, Dec. 12, 2018. It all started with a chance encounter in a supermarket in Utica, N.Y., near Fort Drum. A soldier, his wife and infant had a handful of grocery items they couldn't afford. A Beam Suntory employee picked up the $12 cost for the groceries. The program has grown from providing 500 meal kits to military families in 2009 to providing more than 7,000 nationally this holiday season.K.M. Cannon Las Vegas Review-Journal @KMCannonPhoto
An elegant Tea Party for substance abuse and homeless women
An elegant Tea Party for substance abuse and homeless women at WestCare Women Children Campus in Las Vegas. Bizuayehu Tesfaye/Las Vegas Review-Journal @bizutesfaye
Former 51s manager Wally Backman chats about new job
Former Las Vegas 51s manager Wally Backman talks about his new job with the independent league Long Island Ducks during the Baseball Winter Meetings in Las Vegas, Nevada, on Dec. 10, 2018. (Ron Kantowski/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Inside the kitchen at Springs Preserve
The staff of Divine Events do party preparation in the kitchen at Divine Cafe at Springs Preserve. With nine parties the following day, this is a particularly busy time for the crew. (Heidi Knapp Rinella/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Pearl Harbor survivor Edward Hall talks about his memories of Dec. 7, 1941
U.S. Army Corps Edward Hall, a 95-year-old survivor of Pearl Harbor talks about his memories of that horrific day. Bizuayehu Tesfaye/Las Vegas Review-Journal @bizutesfaye
Roy Choi on cooking for Park MGM employees
As he prepares to open his new restaurant Best Friend later this month at Park MGM, celebrity chef Roy Choi took the time to cook for the resort’s employees Tuesday. (Al Mancini/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Best Friend Menu Reveal Wednesday
Chef Roy Choi tells us what to expect from Wednesday’s Facebook Live Menu Reveal for his new Park MGM restaurant Best Friend. (Al Mancini/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Las Vegas Great Santa Run
People participated in the 14th annual Las Vegas Great Santa Run which raises cubs for Opportunity Village.
World Holidays Exhibit At The Natural History Museum
Migratory Bird Day teaches adults and kids to celebrate birds
Different organizations offered activities for kids and adults to learn about birds and celebrate their migration journey at Sunset Park. (Rachel Aston/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
"Jackson: The Red Rock Canyon Burro" is a children's book about Red Rock Canyon
"Jackson: The Red Rock Canyon Burro" is a children's book about Red Rock Canyon (Janna Karel Las Vegas Review-Journal)
Interfaith Amigos speak in Las Vegas
Celebrity photographer dedicates dance book to Las Vegas shooting victims
Behind the scenes with local celebrity photographer Jerry Metellus as he talks about his Dance For Vegas coffee book dedicated to the 58 victims of the October 1 shooting. (Marcus Villagran/Las Vegas Review-Journal) @marcusvillagran
Dreamsickle Kids Foundation founder Gina Glass talks awareness
Gina Glass, 35, founded Dreamsickle Kids Foundation to raise awareness for sickle cell disease in Nevada. (Jessie Bekker/Las Vegas Review-Journal)
TOP NEWS
News Headlines
Add Event
Home Front Page Footer Listing
Circular
You May Like

You May Like