7 signs you’re thriving, not just surviving, in your 50s

There’s a lot of talk about how social media is giving the “kids these days” a serious case of FOMO. However, people can feel stuck or like they’re missing out at any age. If you feel like you’ve “failed to launch” or are treading water in your 50s, know you’re not alone.

“Let’s be real — this stage of life can come with some heavy stuff: health changes, career plateaus, kids leaving home, parents needing more care, financial pressure and shifting social circles,” observes Gayle MacBride, a psychologist with Veritas Psychology Partners.

Yet these life changes are precisely why it’s crucial for people 50 and older to feel like they’re “not just surviving, but thriving,” MacBride says.

It can be hard not to compare yourself to the Joneses or think that you haven’t lived up to whatever future plans you said you had in your high school yearbook. But you might need to give yourself extra credit, MacBride says. She shares seven signs you’re thriving in your 50s, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Signs you’re thriving

■ You have energy for the things that matter: You may not be bouncing off the walls like a toddler at the grocery store, but as MacBride points out, “Who needs that?” However, you’re thriving in your 50s if you can get through your day without feeling like an energy vampire has bitten you.

“This is a great sign that your sleep, hormones and habits are working for you,” MacBride says. “These things can feel like an uphill battle, and keeping them in good balance can help propel you forward.”

■ You can set boundaries without guilt: You left your people-pleasing days in a previous decade — goodbye overapologizing or saying yes just to be nice.

“You know your worth — and your bandwidth,” MacBride notes. “Strong boundaries reduce burnout, protect relationships and improve self-esteem and overall well-being. Not only that, it feeds back into the energy for what matters. Overcommitting and overapologizing drain energy resources. Saying ‘yes’ when you mean it helps you thrive.”

■ Your friendships feel like a soft place to land: You may roll with fewer people. However, you’ve never rolled deeper.

“Your circle may have shrunk, but it’s full of people who are tried and true — quality over quantity,” MacBride notes. “Getting and giving support to others is a key piece of resilience.”

■ You’re doing things that spark joy — or at least curiosity: Curiosity did not kill the cat, and having it is a sign you’re doing just fine. MacBride says thriving opens the door for curiosity.

“Maybe for the first time in your life, you have the time and the resources to try something new,” she explains. “Being in your 50s and beyond isn’t about understanding your life story — it’s about writing the next chapter. Our brains are wired to learn new things and have novel experiences.”

■ You feel more comfortable in your own skin: You may be losing hair or having hot flashes. However, you’re embracing your body with a warm hug.

“Thriving means loving yourself, seeing your own beauty and believing that your worth lives in who you are,” MacBride says.

She shares that this sign is especially profound for women affected by society’s impossible standards.

“The only choice becomes to rewrite what was once written for us,” she notes.

Bonus: “Loving (ourselves) and increasing self-compassion allow us to have a greater capacity for compassion toward others,” she points out.

■ You’re sleeping better (or at least taking it seriously): MacBride says people may finally start prioritizing sleep in their 50s.

“The party-all-night stage is behind you, the kids can fend for themselves and it’s time to invest in you,” she says. “(People) who thrive at 50-plus begin to see how something like healthy sleep and diet can make a huge impact, and they start to take some of these things more seriously than in their ‘It can’t happen to me’ younger years.”

■ You’re dreaming again — and it feels exciting: You suddenly have a spark that you last felt when filling out those aforementioned high school yearbook questionnaires.

“This time the dream is about retirement, adventures and renewal of relationships,” MacBride says. “This phase of life can be a time when (people) engage in the present moment and give themselves time to imagine what they want, which might help the spark really ignite.”

Three keys to thriving

■ Prioritize your health: MacBride encourages people to focus on the basics of good physical and mental health: Regular exercise, a balanced diet and healthy sleep. Also, communicate with your doctor.

“Talk with your doctor about what hurts and mood swings,” she says. “If you are not sure (if something is) working right, have it looked at.”

■ Create meaning and purpose: MacBride stresses it’s important for people in their 50s to connect with their values if they want to feel like they are thriving.

“Be intentional about what helps you find meaning and be creative about ways you can achieve that,” she shares. “Often, these are the activities that keep us going after retirement age. Starting these new hobbies and making these new relationships now (can) help support a healthy transition later when it’s time to retire.”

■ Find community: There’s strength in numbers at every age. MacBride says the key to thriving is knowing who and where your people are.

“Make sure you are being intentional about who is around you and who you choose for support,” she says. “If someone doesn’t belong, maybe you let go of that relationship slowly and gently, but with purpose.”