Family can be strong foundation to weather any storm
The holiday season is one of my favorite times of the year. Traditions of twinkling lights, classic Christmas movies and songs, gifts, and bellies full of food and hot chocolate boost my spirit. These traditions are even more special when shared with family.
A friend and colleague of mine, Dena Johns, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a mother and a wife, was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. In this case, family has been a vital source of strength and support during Johns’ health ordeal.
“Nothing prepares you for hearing the words, ‘you have cancer.’ The shock. The fear. The sadness, anger and self-blame. All of it came in a wave, but once the storm of emotion settled, something in me turned toward action,” she shared. “I researched. I learned. I made it my mission to heal my terrain, to understand why this happened in the first place.”
Dena’s husband, Matt Johns, has worked as a law enforcement officer for decades. They are each other’s rock, and that foundation became even stronger after Dena’s diagnosis.
“The word cancer, in and of itself, is a word that will get your attention, but when your wife’s name is a couple of words away, in the same sentence, it is life-changing,” Matt Johns said “Our priorities became more streamlined, to include important decisions, such as plans for retirement.”
Recent testing has shown that Dena’s cancer is undetectable.
“My kids, my husband were right there with me,” she said. “They supported every change we made in our home, from what we ate to how we took care of ourselves, to reducing toxins, to prioritizing healing and peace.”
Sacrifices pay off
Dena and Matt have also raised two amazing student-athletes.
Their son, Tanner Johns, was one of the top baseball players in Nevada and starred at Palo Verde High School. He could have played for any Division I program, but he decided to take his talents to Grand Canyon University on a full-ride baseball scholarship.
Their daughter, Taylor Johns, is one of the top softball players in the nation. She is a senior for Palo Verde and has committed to the University of Georgia on a full-ride softball scholarship.
Tanner credits his family for a lot of his success.
“My parents have supported me in ways that I cannot thank them enough for,” he said. “Long road trips forcing them to take time off work, and lots of dollars spent just so I can live out my dream of playing baseball.”
Taylor added: “My parents have supported me in every way — driving me to practices in California and Arizona, being there at games and pushing me to stay focused. They have believed in me through wins and losses, and their support is a huge part of my success.”
Blueprint for success
Success can be defined in many ways. Some will say it is measured over time rather than within a brief period. However, most will agree that success does not happen overnight, and often success follows failure.
When talking about his children, Matt Johns said: “Successes and failures on the field will always be a part of their respective games, and although I am proud when they do something amazing on the field, that feeling does not compare to a coach or another player’s parent going out of their way to say how respectful or what great teammates they are.”
“My blueprint is consistency, hard work and remaining coachable,” Taylor said. “I focus on the fundamentals, keep a strong work ethic and I always look for ways to improve. Loving the game is what drives me to keep getting better.”
Tanner added: “I feel like my parents and coaches were my biggest helpers.”
A strong foundation
No matter what you may be going through this holiday season, having a solid foundation is key. A house can burn down or blow away in a storm, but that foundation, if built correctly, will endure any disaster. The same concept applies to family, and the Johns have built a foundation strong enough to weather any storm.
Here are the foundational principles that Dena and Matt live by:
■ Work as a team, not two individuals.
■ Communicate honestly — even when it is hard.
■ Provide consistency for the kids.
■ Share values, not just responsibilities.
■ Weather storms together.
■ Balance independence with togetherness.
■ Celebrate the wins — big and small.
■ Above all, we put family first.
“Looking back, our foundation was not created in a single moment — it was built through countless choices, habits and the way we consistently show up for each other,” Dena Johns said.
Sheldon Jacobs, Psy.D., LMFT, is a licensed mental health professional based in Las Vegas. Contact him at drjacobs10@hotmail.com.
