You will think this is a perfect weekend of entertainment — if you’re one of those people who always is griping about “what the kids are listening to,” because oldies acts are molding up Las Vegas.
Nothing’s more old-Vegas than Don Rickles. He was supposed to perform today through Sunday at The Orleans, but the show has been canceled.
So in the spirit of Rickles’ insult comedy, here’s a look at the Pre-Modern acts reappearing in Las Vegas beyond their prime, dragging with them their one-hit-wonder careers and/or their old hits that now reverberate through grocery stores and doctors’ offices.
• Bryan Adams opens for Rod Stewart at 8 p.m. Saturday at the MGM Grand. Adams talks to the Review-Journal’s Mike Weatherford in today’s Neon section, proclaiming, “It’s pretty hard to write good songs.” Well, I guess he’s self-aware on that point. He once sang, “Have you ever really, really, really ever loved a woman?” Really excellent use of the thesaurus, there, Bryan. ($52.50-$157.50; 891-7777.)
• Mötley Crüe plays Mandalay Bay tonight, performing after the scream-therapy opening rockers of Buckcherry, Papa Roach, Sixx A.M. and Trapt. In today’s Neon, Jason Bracelin quotes bassist Nikki Sixx as saying he doesn’t “want to be Nine Inch Nails or Rage Against the Machine.” That’s fortunate because the Crüe is lacking just a few traits that Nine Inch Nails and Rage have, specifically musicality, chops, style, originality and brain cells. ($55-$95; 632-7580.)
• A whole bunch of indie-pop throwbacks from the 1980s are being packaged as The Regeneration Tour. That includes Human League, Belinda Carlisle, Flock of Seagulls, Naked Eyes and ABC playing 6 p.m. Saturday at Planet Hollywood. Why isn’t Thomas Dolby in that lineup? What, is he off somewhere playing trombone with his nose? ($72.45-$131.25.)
• Pat Benatar sings “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” at 8 p.m. Saturday in the Star of the Desert Arena at Buffalo Bill’s in Primm. I like Pat Benatar. Does she still have that mullet? ($32.95-$43.95; 800-386-7867.)
Before you write me nasty e-mails, I really, really, really didn’t mean any of those insults.
Doug Elfman’s column appears on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 702-383-0391 or e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org. He also blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.