Here’s a juicy twist of fate.
At 10 p.m. Friday, Kathy Griffin will walk onstage at The Mirage and start telling jokes about the Kardashians — and at the exact same time, the Kardashians will be in The Mirage celebrating brother Rob’s birthday at 1 Oak nightclub.
I talked to both Rob Kardashian and Griffin (she often ridicules the K family with glee). And I’ve got a story for you.
On the day I interviewed Rob, his representative told me: “Per his mother,” I could ask him “absolutely” no personal questions or questions about his sisters, and he would talk only about 1 Oak and their TV show.
I do not abide by such regulations. I asked his rep to put Rob on the phone to see what would happen.
Rob and I talked about his weight loss and his sock line. He will autograph socks at Kardashian Khaos in The Mirage from 1 to 3 p.m. Saturday.
“People are just gonna come and meet me and sign socks and buy socks. It’ll be a great day,” he told me.
I hope it is, because Rob Kardashian was nice to me. For that matter, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney have always been great to me.
But Mama Kris Jenner?
Maybe she was worried I was going to ask Rob why Khloe gave him a pair of boxers emblazoned with the words “Big Papi” at Valentine’s Day, a weird present from a sister, but he tweeted a photo of the undies.
Afterward, I told Griffin I interviewed Rob, and she said:
“Jesus Christ. Was it about his weight gain or his socks?”
“Both,” I said.
Then I told Griffin about Mama Kris’ interview demand.
“In the newspaper business, you don’t have to adhere to those parameters,” Griffin said. (Correct.) “I think that’s what Kris doesn’t understand.”
Anyway, Griffin will ridicule the Kardashians at The Mirage, just as she does on her Thursday night Bravo talk show, “Kathy.”
“Unlike Robert Kardashian, we will be talking about Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy and Kanye West,” Griffin says.
“I don’t know why anybody wants to be Kanye West-Kardashian. I don’t even know who the biggest loser is of those two. I don’t know who picked the short straw.”
Oh, it’s gonna be a night to remember at The Mirage.
GET THOSE KIDS OFF THE STREET
Griffin also says she is sick of seeing your little children on the Strip in the middle of the night.
“I’ve been known to hiss at children in casinos,” she says.
“If I’m at my nickel slots, and some 5-year-old taps me on the shoulder, and the mom thinks it’s cute — I will hiss at that kid like a wild cat.”
Griffin isn’t wrong when she says:
“There seems to be more and more families walking down the Strip with double strollers at 1 a.m. … Families think it’s acceptable to ruin my Vegas.”
This is happening largely on sidewalks, not just in casinos.
“And you can’t even walk past them because they’re acting like” they own the sidewalks, she says.
Griffin’s theory: Wives persuade husbands to bring kids here to forgo baby-sitting, but when men go gambling, women go strolling.
My theory: This phenomenon of parents walking their kids down the Strip in the middle of the night is a reflection of the “Honey Boo Boo”-ification of America.
But Griffin doesn’t think Honey Boo Boo and her family would walk anywhere.
“Wait, Honey Boo Boo would be in a bedazzled (Cadillac) Escalade. I don’t think anyone in that family walks or has any form of exercise,” Griffin says.
Touche, Kathy Griffin.
Doug Elfman’s column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He also writes for Neon on Fridays. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.