Zippers are the problem, plain and simple. All these scandals, the groping, people exposing themselves — it’s clearly a zipper problem.
Gideon Sundback invented the zipper and started us down this path to destruction. Easy access to these weapons due to our constitutional freedoms is the root of the problem, and we need to ban zippers entirely. Only when we take a hard look at this issue can we begin to see the real problem: zippers.