Patriots wideout Chad Ochocinco convinced teammates Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez to join Twitter this week, but, like most other forms of media, New England coach Bill Belichick has a strong aversion to the social type.
“You’ll never see me on Twitter, MyFace, Yearbook or any of that,” Belichick said. “Forget about that.
“That’s not really my thing. … Before I can join any of those, I’d have to know what they are.”
Belichick might be a genius when it comes to football; he’s anything but when it comes to modern technology. During his profile on the NFL Network’s “A Football Life,” he struggled mightily to set the clock in his car.
Welker has taken quickly to Twitter, tweeting 11 times Wednesday morning alone, including “I’m going to bring all sorts of energy to practice @ochocinco we can sleep when we’re dead!”
Welker attracted nearly 80,000 followers less than 24 hours after joining Tuesday, prompting Pats tight end Rob Gronkowski to tweet, “Wes Welker is like Charlie Sheen, he is shutting down Twitter today folks!”
Ochocinco has more than 3 million Twitter followers but only one touchdown catch this season.
■ ’SNL’ SPOOFS TEBOW — In a “Saturday Night Live” skit that poked fun at Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, Jesus visits the Denver locker room to talk to the team and tells Tebow to “take it down a notch.”
“First of all, you’re welcome,” he said after emerging from a cloud. “Yes, I, Jesus Christ, am indeed the reason you have won your past six football games.”
When Tebow giddily rushes up to Jesus, Jesus tells him, “Whoa, Tim. Easy, easy buddy. Leave a little room for the Holy Ghost.”
Jesus then tells the team he, not Tebow, has been the one bailing them out in the fourth quarter.
“I can throw better, and I’m 2010 years old,” he joked.
After telling the players he wouldn’t be around for Sunday’s game against the Patriots, because “I’ve got a big birthday coming up,” Jesus praised New England quarterback Tom Brady.
“This doesn’t leave this room, but if I’m the Son of God, Tom Brady’s got to be the guy’s nephew, all right?” he said. “That guy’s a miracle worker.”
As for Belichick, Jesus jokingly compared him to the devil before saying, “So they’re coming at you both ways.”
■ SNACK TIME — Jets coach Rex Ryan scheduled “snack time” for his players during HBO’s “Hard Knocks” series, but he since has expanded his team’s menu to include ice cream socials.
Ryan hosts them in his office each Thursday with several of New York’s offensive players, including wide receiver Plaxico Burress, the team’s official Twitter account revealed Tuesday.
Based on the way the offense has struggled recently, Ryan might want to start hosting salad or protein shake socials instead, or at least invite the entire unit over for some Rocky Road.
There was no word if the defense is excluded from the weekly event or gets together on its own for tea time.
COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL