It’s been awhile since a “This is SportsCenter” commercial made us laugh out loud, but John Clayton’s new ad definitely did the trick.
An instant classic that’s comparable to Charley Steiner’s greatest hits, Clayton’s skit spoofs his studious appearance and the longstanding Internet rumor that he has a ponytail.
After the football analyst wraps up his segment on ESPN, Clayton quickly transforms into a metalhead in his basement bedroom – tearing off his faux suit top to reveal a sleeveless Slayer T-shirt and releasing a long mane of hair from his ponytail.
He then rocks out to some Slayer in bed while eating Chinese food straight from the box before yelling – a la Will Ferrell in “Wedding Crashers” – “Hey, Mom, I’m done with my segment!”
The commercial can be seen on YouTube, along with a hilarious blooper reel in which Clayton yells, “Mom, when’s dinner? I want to be at the mall in 10 minutes!” and gleefully tells his friend on the phone, “I’m driving you to the mall, my man! We’re going!”
We still consider Steiner the undisputed king of ESPN commercials, with the “Y2K SportsCenter” topping the list.
In it, a crazed Steiner, holding a lantern and wearing face paint with a tie wrapped around his head, shouts “Follow me. Follow me to freedom!”
Steiner uttered several other great lines, including “You had me at hello,” and the time he was traded for actor Andrew Shue to “Melrose Place,” where he happily told one of the show’s female characters, “Hi Sydney, I’m Bobby. I’m the new pool boy. Wanna rub some cocoa oil on my back?”
Steiner didn’t say a word during a memorable commercial in which anchor Stuart Scott informs boxer Evander Holyfield that Steiner said he was maybe the 50th-best heavyweight … in Georgia.
“Charley, come on out and get your whuppin’,” Holyfield angrily says as he searches for Steiner, who is shown cowering under a desk.
■ FANTASY REFS – The NFL replacement official who worked Sunday’s Eagles-Ravens game didn’t exactly tell Philadelphia running back LeSean McCoy he had money invested in him, but he inferred it.
“They’re like fans. I’ll be honest, they’re like fans,” McCoy said Monday during a radio interview in Philadelphia. “One of the refs was talking about his fantasy team, (and said) ‘McCoy, come on, I need you for my fantasy (team).’ Uhhh, what?”
McCoy rushed for 81 yards and a touchdown, but the Eagles failed to cover as 2½-point favorites in their 24-23 win over the Ravens, so perhaps the ref in question didn’t attend the “Tim Donaghy School of Officiating” after all.
■ YANKEE PANKY – Talk about an inside-the-park home run. Two fans were caught having sex in a Yankee Stadium bathroom Saturday during New York’s win over Tampa Bay.
The man, clad only in a C.C. Sabathia T-shirt, and woman were featured on Monday’s cover of the New York Daily News, with the headline “FOUL BALL: Couple do it in Yankee Stadium & fans watch.”
Initial reports had the couple, ahem, engaged for two or three innings. Thank goodness it wasn’t a Red Sox-Yankees game.
COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL