Colt should have offered valet a fiver

In an incident straight out of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” a hotel valet employee was arrested after he stole a car owned by Indianapolis Colts receiver Reggie Wayne and took it for a joyride, driving it while he was drunk.

Wayne told police he left his 2007 Bentley at about 6:30 p.m. Saturday with a valet at the Westin in downtown Indianapolis. When he tried to pick up the car Sunday morning, the valet staff told him they had no idea where it was.

Police later identified the employee who took Wayne’s Bentley as the aptly named Gunner Belcher, a 21-year-old from Indianapolis.

A supervisor told police Belcher left work around 9 p.m. Saturday, and a garage security officer told police he’d seen a 6-foot white male wearing a valet uniform take the vehicle out of the garage.

Belcher was arrested at around 2 a.m. Sunday for driving while intoxicated. The brazen Belcher told police he was Wayne’s “cousin by marriage.”

The car has been returned to Wayne, and, as was the case in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” the odometer wasn’t rolled back.

In the popular 1980s comedy, Bueller drops off his friend Cameron’s father’s classic Ferrari convertible to a shady-looking valet in a downtown Chicago parking garage.

“I’m gonna give the guy a fiver,” Bueller tells the neurotic Cameron to calm him.

Says the valet: “Relax. You fellas have nothing to worry about. I’m a professional.”

“A professional what?” says Cameron, who is reassured by Bueller, “See what a finski can do to a guy’s attitude?”

The valet and a co-worker later are shown euphorically flying through the air in the car.

■ SHIRTS VS. SHIRTS – The Bowl Championship Series title game between Alabama and Notre Dame still is nearly a month away, but the T-shirt battles already have begun.

Crimson Tide fans have designed an “I’d Rather Be Good Than Lucky” shirt, with an Alabama logo replacing the O and a shamrock inside the U.

On the Irish side, in a politically incorrect play on the “Catholics vs. Convicts” slogan from the Notre Dame-Miami Hurricanes 1980s rivalry, sportscrack.com has produced a “Catholics vs. Cousins” shirt.

We give the edge to Notre Dame in this showdown.

■ TRUMP ATWITTER – Donald Trump posted an unintentionally hilarious tweet shortly before the start of the “Monday Night Football” matchup between the Patriots and Texans:

“Good Luck to Bob Kraft, Tom Brady and Coach Bob Belichick tonight.”

What, no well wishes for Les Welker or Bob Gronkowski?

New England coach Bill Belichick didn’t comment on Trump’s “Bob-ling” of his name, but if he did he probably would’ve deadpanned something like, “The Ronald can call me whatever he wants.”

Trump probably already has fired “The Apprentice” tasked with typing the tweets “@realdonaldtrump.” Either that or the billionaire’s bungle could’ve been caused by inadvertently inhaling fumes from his potent hair sprays.

We only can imagine what the 66-year-old – maybe someone should check his birth certificate – will tweet before the Alabama-Notre Dame game: “Good Luck to the schools that gave us Beaver Bryant, Trudy and Touchdown Moses.”

COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL

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