As an avid golfer and noted bald man, comedian Larry David — “Seinfeld” co-creator and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” creator and star — has a special place in his heart for Jordan Spieth, the two-time major winner with a rapidly receding hairline.
“He’s going to be a bald man,” David predicts in the comedy issue of Golf Digest. “He’s going to be wildly bald. This makes him way more appealing to me. It’s one thing to handle the pressure of the back nine at Augusta; let’s see how he does when he sees all that hair in the tub. That’s pressure. I’ll be watching him very carefully. He’s 22. He’s got three years, maybe four. He’s done.”
If that’s the case, Spieth should heed the advice of Seinfeld’s George Costanza, who once told Elaine’s balding boyfriend Kurt that he had “14 months, maybe 10” before he’d be completely bald.
“Is there anything I can do?” Kurt asked.
Costanza: “Yes. Live dammit. Live! Every precious moment as if this was the last year of your life. Because in many ways … it is.”
HAIR JORDAN — Rory McIlroy, the world’s top-ranked golfer, encouraged Spieth not to worry about his hairline during a recent round together.
“It’s funny we were talking about hairstyles,” McIlroy said. “I sort of said to him, ‘You have a green jacket, your hair can be whatever you want it to be.'”
HANDICAPPING YOUR ENTHUSIASM — David, a 15-handicap, recently played at renowned Baltusrol Golf Club in New Jersey. “I played terribly,” he said. “Baltusrol was like going to bed with a beautiful woman and not getting it up.”
Not surprisingly, David said “The Marine Biologist” — in which Kramer hits golf balls into the ocean — is one of his favorite “Seinfeld” episodes.
“I love Kramer’s line when George shows him the ball he pulled out of the whale’s blowhole: ‘What is that, a Titleist?'” he said.