Poor Elizabeth Lloyd was just trying to enjoy a nice day at a New Jersey park when her life was turned upside down.
Lloyd, 45, was struck in the face and injured while sitting at a picnic table as a result of the thuggish actions of some punk kid and has sued the 13-year-old for $500,000 for the boy’s thoughtless recklessness, according to the Asbury Park (N.J.) Press.
Matthew Migliaccio, who was an 11-year-old catcher at the time, had the gall to attempt to throw the ball back to the reliever he was warming up in the bullpen during a May 2010 Manchester Little League game.
The throw got away from him and struck Lloyd in the face. What a horrible little boy who must be punished immediately!
Good for this woman. Kids need to learn they are living in a society where their off-target throws could cost them and their families more than an average house.
Fortunately, she’s not the only one suing this tyrant. Lloyd’s husband also has filed suit against the Migliaccio family, claiming that he has lost the “services, society and consortium of his wife” as a result of her injuries.
Too bad Johnnie Cochran’s not around to represent this sweet lady: “If the throw gets away, that boy must pay.”
■ (DEATH) PENALTY KICKS – Many American sports fans have trotted out the cliche of being bored to death by the beautiful sport of soccer.
They have a case to point to for precedent now in which too much soccer might have killed someone.
Jiang Xiaoshan, a 26-year-old Chinese soccer fan, died last week after spending 11 sleepless nights watching Euro 2012.
He would work during the day and watch the games live in the middle of the night. Xiaoshan went home and finally fell asleep after watching Italy defeat Ireland but never woke up.
A report by NewsCore cites sources blaming the combined effects of alcohol, tobacco and sleep deprivation for the death of a man friends claim lived a “relatively healthy life” otherwise.
When his body was discovered, investigators originally thought he was doing an impression of the incessant flopping he had seen during all that soccer viewing.
■ THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR JELL-O – If any sport is looking for a way to best determine tiebreakers or champions, it should consult U.S. sprinter Justin Gatlin.
In the wake of the confusing dead heat for the third and final Olympic spot between Allyson Felix and Jeneba Tarmoh in the women’s 100 meters, Gatlin suggested the tie should be broken with either a Jell-O or mud wrestling match.
Before the feminists get bent out of shape, he was kidding and later gave a thoughtful answer on the merits of both athletes. (We would let you know what that was, but Leftovers has no use for thoughtful answers.)
The crazy part is it was a better suggestion than the bizarre and convoluted plan the U.S. Olympic Committee came up with, which lies somewhere between hoping one of the runners volunteers to give up the spot and paper-rock-scissors.
COMPILED BY ADAM HILL
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL