Leftovers: Big Three not quite Fab Four, now is it?

At this rate, it probably won't be long before LeBron James says the Miami Heat are bigger than Jesus -- a statement once infamously uttered by The Beatles' John Lennon.

The ever-humble James has already compared his Heat to the biggest band in music history, christening them the "Heatles" after leading Miami to its 11th straight road win Monday over the Charlotte Bobcats.

"I see we sell out 99.1 percent on the road, so we call ourselves the Heatles off the Beatles, so every time we take our show on the road we bring a great crowd," James told the Miami Herald.

So who's Paul McCartney and who's John Lennon?

"I knew that was going to be a question," James said. "We're just the Heatles, man."

They should call themselves the Miami Hate.

First the ill-fated "Decision." Then prancing around a stage in Miami while predicting multiple titles for his new team. And now this. Can't LeBron just let it be? At least until he completes the long and winding road to his first NBA championship?

As for who's George Harrison? Please don't insult him by putting Chris Bosh in his place. Ringo Starr? Maybe.

■ FOOTBALL FETISH -- Reports of New York Jets coach Rex Ryan having a foot fetish must be true. He even used a foot analogy to describe his team's desire to avenge last year's playoff loss to the Indianapolis Colts.

"I want to put the shoe on the other foot," he said. "I know this team does, too."

Based on the recent reports, that's probably not the last time Ryan will put a foot in his mouth.

■ NO PLAYOFF BEARD -- With the NFL playoffs upon us, the Buffalo Bills are nowhere to be found. And neither is the bushy beard of Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, who had his infamous facial hair shaved off Monday.

"Time to say goodbye," Fitzpatrick told Buffalo CBS affiliate WIVB-TV, which taped the quarterback's close shave. "I'm sad to see it go today. I'm fighting the tears right now."

The scraggly beard became Fitzpatrick's trademark this season and the butt of jokes around the NFL.

The former Harvard star was known as the "Amish Rifle" by his teammates, and some said he looked like a professor with the beard, which, um, grew on him as the season progressed.

"When I first started playing, I think it was laziness more than anything," Fitzpatrick said. "And I let it go, and it became ... something, so I figured I wasn't allowed to shave it until the season was over with."

After getting a haircut and shave, Fitzpatrick barely recognized himself.

"Who is that guy?" he said jokingly. "I look like I'm about 12!"

■ NO MASSAGING HIS IMAGE -- A headline on Fark.com regarding the sexual harassment lawsuit filed this week against 41-year-old Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre: "Two massage therapists sue Brett Favre. I hope this story has a happy ending."

COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL