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Lions fans know how loss looks

An NFL game in Detroit is being blacked out on Motown’s local TV today for the first time since 2001.

So Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press offered up a few listening tips for radio newbies, including:

— Just pretend it’s the old days, like ’57, the last time the Lions won a title.

— It’s actually just as easy to cuss and throw things at the radio as it is the TV.

— Traffic and weather on the third-and-8s.

— If you’re looking for the Lions, try 97.1, 1270 or, at the end of the day, 0-7.

CAUGHT OUT OF BOUNDS — Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Santonio Holmes faces misdemeanor marijuana charges after police found pot-filled cigars in his car during a traffic stop Thursday.

(Feel free to enter your own possession-receiver punch line here.)

FORE, AS IN FOREHEAD — A local man is suing a fellow golfer over a tee shot that hit him on the head two years ago, the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald reported.

Defense lawyers, saying the suit is out of bounds, immediately asked the judge to declare the case an unpayable lie.

NO LONGER A DRIVING FORCE — Legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, no longer driving after turning 98 this month, just sold his 1989 Ford Taurus on eBay for $5,000.

One mechanic’s quickie scouting report: It be quick, but it don’t hurry.

LATE APOLOGY — Jose Canseco, in an A&E documentary, said he regrets outing baseball’s steroid users and wants to apologize to them.

Responded Mike Finger of the San Antonio Express-News: “This works as a perfect parallel to the upcoming sequel to ‘Erin Brockovich,’ in which the sassy whistle-blower has a change of heart and helps the gas company recontaminate the drinking water.”

THUMBS UP — Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon (Sask.) StarPhoenix, on New Jersey Devils center Bobby Holik being out three to four weeks with a broken pinkie: “During his recovery, he is expected to dress as a backup quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.”

SLOW GOING — David Thomas of the Fort Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram, on 245-pound Tennessee Titans running back LenDale White‘s 80-yard rumble Oct. 19: “It was the first touchdown in NFL history to begin in one quarter and end in another.”

HAPPY HALLOWEEN — Headline at TheOnion.com: “Double-booked Tropicana Field holds first haunted-house World Series.”

HILLARY NEEDS BCS — Comedian Argus Hamilton, after Southern California leapfrogged three unbeaten teams into second place in the first release of the Bowl Championship Series rankings: “Under the BCS system, Hillary Clinton still could be our next president.”

DUCKING THE QUESTION — From Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “Why all the fuss over the Republicans’ $150,000 fashion makeover for vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin?

“Wake us up when she stockpiles as many different outfits as the Oregon football team.”


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