You say your golf game is going to the dogs?
Well, consider the case of Oscar, a 5-year-old Labrador retriever who lives near a course in Dunfermline, Scotland.
Chris Morrison, his owner, used to take Oscar for walks on the fairways and one day noticed his mutt was, as he put it, “rattling.”
Further examination by a veterinarian led to surgery and that, in turn, led to a discovery that Oscar had been swallowing golf balls. Not one, not two, but 13.
“It was like a magic trick,” veterinarian Bob Hesketh told the Daily Telegraph. “I opened him up and felt what I thought was two or three golf balls. But they just kept coming until we had a bagful.”
The rattling has stopped. Oscar now wears a muzzle on his walks. He’s feeling up to par again.
• BUSH WHACKED — Dave Thomas of the Fort Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram already is deep into NFL season form.
“If Reggie Bush doesn’t live up to the hype this season,” Thomas wrote, “we’re going to forget about investigating whether he got paid at USC and investigate whether he left his talent there.”
• PACKING A PUNCH — The dangers of jogging came to the fore again last week when a wallaby knocked down and pummeled a 50-year-old man in Sunbury, Australia. The victim is recovering in a hospital.
As for the critter, Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times said, “Police just hope they can get to him before Don King does.”
• CLOTHES HORSE — Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News keeps a close eye on politicians, so it came as no surprise that he had a take on former sportscaster Sarah Palin‘s vice presidential nomination.
“It could only be worse if she had been a sportswriter,” Lincicome wrote, “because then she would not have known how to dress.”
• CALL HER S-PAL — You can bet there’s one Yankee happy to see the New York Post and Daily News gossip-hounds dispatched to Alaska to sniff out any tidbits on Palin’s nomination.
Noted comedian Argus Hamilton: “Right now Alex Rodriguez could date an underage stripper, bulk up on steroids and assassinate his bookie, and no one in New York would hear about it for eight years.”
• NUMERO 37 — Relatives back home in northern Kentucky are pressing out-of-work running back Shaun Alexander — who made No. 37 famous in Seattle — to sign with the nearby Bengals and join forces with Chad Ocho Cinco.
Alexander told the AP: “They want me to be Tres Siete.”
• MOTHER OF ALL MULLIGANS — Facing a backlash from lawmakers and bewilderment from sponsors, the LPGA Tour backed off plans to suspend players who cannot speak coherent English.
Free-speech opponents, not assuaged, urged women golfers to replace their bigots.
• AUDIBLE GROAN — Eli Manning a double threat? Not so fast there, big guy.
“I think I’m great at karaoke,” the New York Giants quarterback told FSN, “but I don’t think anyone else agrees with that.”
• NAME GAME — Could there be a more elusive-sounding runner in college football than Navy tailback Shun White?
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