Ray Rice says he’s still living ‘the nightmare’

Former NFL running back Ray Rice is still living “the nightmare” of how one bad decision can sink any individual.

Rice, 29, hasn’t played in the league since a video of him punching his soon-to-be-wife in a casino elevator was released. The Baltimore Ravens followed by releasing Rice from the roster.

“I went to a real dark place,” Rice said on the Dan Patrick Show on Thursday of seeing the video himself for the first time. “Nothing should’ve led up to that. You don’t want to think about what led up to it. … We had been drinking. It was a long night. It just was when of those things … I’m a better man than that. It was the worst decision of my life.”

He said Thursday he is spending his days mentoring in New Jersey, but still wants to play in the NFL. He said he asked his agent to only call him when it’s real. Rice said he sensed earlier in the season that he had a chance, but the later in the season it got, the less optimistic Rice became.

For now, Rice plans to do as much good — mentoring youth and rehabilitating himself  as he can.

“You feel ashamed, you feel embarrassed. There were people out there that took a different approach, like I was a different person. It gave me hope,” Rice said.

Rice said he and his wife are grateful to have each other.

“She’s a lot stronger than I am,” Rice said.

Rice said he never put his hands on his wife, Janay, but said “it shouldn’t happen once. One time is too many.”

A second-round pick in 2008, Rice was a three time Pro Bowl selection but became one of the landmark cases for the NFL to change its policy on domestic violence. Penalties are harsh compared to prior to the Rice ruling.

It’s impacting his life in many ways, including as a father.

“I have a daughter. There is going to come a time where I have to take a long walk in the park or take her on a date and have that conversation,” Rice said. “I think my wife definitely has to be there for that conversation. We have to live day-to-day for our daughter.

“My wife and I still have to live the rest of our life. In February, we’ll be two years removed from the incident. It feels like yesterday.”

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