Rookie QB not schooled in geography

Miami Dolphins rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill earned his bachelor’s degree in biology from Texas A&M in 2011 and plans on eventually attending medical school and becoming an orthopedic surgeon.

But he must have flunked geography.

Channeling his inner Antonio Cromartie on this week’s episode of HBO’s “Hard Knocks,” Tannehill struggled to name which division each NFL team played in – putting the New York Giants in the NFC North and the Kansas City Chiefs in the NFC East.

“I wasn’t a huge pro fan growing up. I wasn’t loyal to any one team, so I don’t really know the divisions and even really conferences,” he said. “I know most of the conferences, but some of those, I really have no clue. And they don’t make sense. You have the AFC East, and we’re freaking in the bottom of the map, and the directions don’t make any sense where the teams actually are.”

We can’t fault Tannehill for slacking off on his geography because, besides football, the man obviously remains consumed with human biology. One need look no further than a photo of his wife, Lauren, to see that.

■ THE PESKY HOLD – A longtime fan favorite, Red Sox legend Johnny Pesky – who died Aug. 13 at age 92 – also was one of Boston’s scapegoats during its 86-year World Series title drought.

Pesky long was blamed for holding the ball on a crucial relay in the eighth inning of Game 7 of the 1946 World Series, when Enos Slaughter dashed from first to home to score the winning run for the St. Louis Cardinals.

51s pitching coach Bob Stanley can relate. The former Red Sox star is infamous in Boston for throwing a wild pitch that allowed the New York Mets to score the tying run in the fateful 10th inning of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series.

The easygoing “Steamer” said he “used to bust Johnny Pesky all the time” about his alleged blunder.

“I said, ‘Johnny, we have a lot in common.’ He said, ‘What’s that?’ I said, ‘I threw it, and you didn’t,’ ” Stanley said. “He laughed. He was a great man.”

■ THE BIG SLUBOWSKI – Covered with stitch marks, hockey Hall of Famer Gerry Cheevers’ goalie mask might be the most recognizable one in NHL history.

But Western Michigan goalie Frank Slubowski gets our vote for coolest modern mask. It pays tribute to two of his classic movie-inspired nicknames: “The Big Slubowski,” a reference to the Coen brothers’ film “The Big Lebowski,” and “Frank the Tank,” a reference to the comedy “Old School.”

One side of the mask features an image of “The Dude,” Jeff Bridges’ character in “Lebowski,” with his sunglasses reflecting the rug that tied the room together. You also could call him “His Dudeness,” or “Duder,” or “El Duderino” if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.

The only thing we would change is the image of the tank on the other side of Slubowski’s mask. To pay proper homage to Will Ferrell’s character, an image of him with a beer bong, tranquilizer dart or streaking would have been more apropos.

Honey, you think KFC’s still open?

COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL

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