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Chicago shocker: Kris Bryant gets ejected

Updated July 27, 2017 - 12:52 am

It happened! It happened!

I speak not of George Foreman knocking out Michael Moorer to win the heavyweight title at the implausible age of 45 — and Jim Lampley’s iconic call of pugilistic history being made in Las Vegas — but of native son Kris Bryant getting ejected from a ballgame on Tuesday.

Which, if you know anything about Bryant and his kindly nature, was just as implausible.

Now it should be noted the Cubs, the team for which the reigning NL MVP plays, were matched against the crosstown White Sox when it happened.

All sorts of dander gets up when the Cubs play the White Sox. (The last time I fought with my brother is when he insisted Bill Melton was better than Ron Santo. This was when my brother was a fool, and smaller than me.)

In the fifth inning, dander inciter John Lackey filled the bases with White Sox by plunking three of them with his pitches, after which White Sox broadcaster Ken “Hawk” Harrelson challenged Lackey to a fight. If that tells you anything about the kind of game this was.

A half-inning prior, Bryant was ejected by home plate umpire Lance Barksdale for complaining about being called out on an inside pitch that landed somewhere near Joliet.

Bryant, who is such a nice guy that Adidas should name his next pair of cleats the Goody Two Shoes, started barking at Barksdale, but it seemed a respectful retort. No veins bulging from the neck or whatever. The umpire struck back by throwing the Bonanza High product out of the ballgame.

It happened!

“It was a disagreement, but I don’t think it was too animated,” Bryant said. “I know (Barksdale) is trying to do the best job he can. I’m trying to do the best job I can. I feel like I only want to say something when I know for a fact (the call was bad).

“I had to do it. I had to stick up for myself.”

Kris’ dad, Mike Bryant, said in a text that it was the second time his son had been thrown out a professional game. The first was in a Triple-A game for the same reason, the elder Bryant said.

Harper’s histrionics

John Lackey, who would plunk one additional White Sox batter, giving him four plunks in a single game — the first time a Cubs pitcher had done that since Moe Drabowsky in 1957 — and Hawk Harrelson certainly would agree with sticking up for oneself. So would Bryce Harper, Bryant’s travel ball teammate before they started collecting MVP trophies and shoe contracts and Gatorade commercials.

Harper is only 24 but already has been thrown out of 11 games with the Washington Nationals. If he steps it up a little, he might even have an outside chance of breaking Johnny Evers’ all-time record of 50 ejections. Evers was the middle man in the Cubs’ lyrical Tinker-to-Evers-to-Chance double-play combination of the Deadball Era. He had a long face and, apparently, a potty mouth.

(The all-time record for receiving an early shower belongs to Bobby Cox, banished from 161 games as manager of the Braves and Blue Jays. Cox’s record is secure, unless Ralphie’s dad from “A Christmas Story” rises from the dead and becomes a third-base coach.)

Harper almost always gets his money’s worth when he is kicked out of a ballgame — so much so that websites keep charts of his ejections and rank them on histrionics and vitriol and Harper’s culpability. The list includes video of all of Bryce’s heave-hos, or heaves-ho, and comments such as this, dated March 26, 2014: “How dumb is it to be ejected in a spring training game? Super dumb. Looks like the ump got the call right, too.”

Harper had been on better behavior, having been run from only one game this season until Wednesday night, when he was booted for arguing balls and strikes against the Brewers. On May 29, he was hit by a pitch from the Giants’ Hunter Strickland, whom Harper had treated rudely three years ago during the playoffs by hitting a couple of his pitches for very long distances. Bryce threw his batting helmet (missed) and a haymaker (hit) while San Francisco catcher Buster Posey kept a safe distance.

Harper definitely got his money’s worth. To use Kris Bryant’s vernacular, it was a disagreement, but it was very animated.

The Cubs’ third baseman was still in the shower reaching for the soap on a rope when I was called about an interview pertaining to NASCAR and Las Vegas. One of the questions asked: Why are the Busch brothers such hotheads, and why couldn’t they be more like Kris Bryant?

Contact Ron Kantowski at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352. Follow @ronkantowski on Twitter.

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