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U.S runner’s quest needs more chug, less lug

The London Games are over, but U.S. Olympic middle-distance runner Nick Symmonds is still trying to break a world record – in the beer mile.

A true test of will and skill – not really – runners must chug a beer before each of the four quarter-mile laps that comprise the “beer mile.” Throwing up during the race results in a penalty lap.

Symmonds, who placed fifth in the 800 meters at London, completed his beer mile in 5 minutes, 19 seconds – which improved his American record but was still well off the world mark of 5:09 set by Canadian marathoner Jim Finlayson.

After the event, the 28-year-old Symmonds said he still had a long way to go to catch Finlayson – and a buzz.

“I feel tired. I feel full of beer. I’m not inebriated by any means yet,” he said. “But, 5:19 … it’s a good first mark. I’ve got some training to do.”

Training for the beer mile can be an arduous, draining, dizzying experience. And then there’s the running.

When Prince Harry was apprised of the beer mile, he immediately sought to make it an Olympic event – the third in a beer triathlon comprised of fully clothed beer swimming and naked beer billiards. He then was reminded the London Games were long over – and to put his pants back on.

■ ARROWHEAD OF HIS EYE – It’s easy to see which NFL team Steve Graham supports. You can see it in his eye. Literally.

A 58-year-old Kansas City native, Graham wears a glass eye containing the Chiefs arrowhead logo.

Graham lost his right eye in a dart accident in 1967, when he was 13, according to ArrowheadAddict.com.

He had his Chiefs eye made 10 years ago at the suggestion of his doctor – who might not actually be one, but did stay at a Holiday Inn Express the night before the appointment.

Aware that his “KC” eye candy can disturb some people, Graham said he doesn’t wear his Chiefs eye all the time. He has two other regular artificial eyes that match his real left one.

Graham, who also sports a Derrick Thomas tribute tattoo, gets our vote for biggest NFL fan – at least until an Eagles fan has an eye made.

■ MONDAY NIGHT FEVER – Jim Joyce, the umpire who infamously blew a call that cost Armando Galarraga a perfect game in 2010, helped save a woman’s life Monday at Arizona’s Chase Field.

Joyce, 56, was walking toward the umpire’s dressing room when he saw stadium employee Jayne Powers collapse of a heart attack.

“I knew something was wrong. And I knew if something wasn’t done, this lady could actually die in front of me,” he told mlb.com. “It was more instinct than anything else.”

Joyce performed CPR on Powers until paramedics arrived and revived her with a defibrillator.

To help time his chest compressions, Joyce said he sang the Bee Gees’ song “Stayin’ Alive.”

When he visited Powers in the hospital, she said she didn’t remember him singing.

“She said she recognized my voice, so that’s really kind of cool,” he said.

Fortunately for Powers, Joyce didn’t have to ask “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?”


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