Lounge bands and karaoke spots on the Vegas Strip always echo the same classic hits. When you hear 1970s songs, it’s all “Dancing Queen” and “I Will Survive.” Here are 10 hits from the Seventies I never hear but wish I would.
1. “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen – The best best-friend song evah! Can’t you see it? Can’t you see the guy-tripper tourists singing this arm and arm, in their quasi-homoerotic embraces and baseball caps?
2. “Turn To Stone” by ELO – The two ‘70s bands that don’t get enough respect are ELO and Supertramp. This is one of my ELO faves. That beat is ridiculous. It’s got pre-rap in the middle! FYI, “turn to stone” is a euphemism for tumescence.
3. “Heroes” by David Bowie – It’s a dolphin song! Kind of. Rocks the house. By the way, Lady Gagme is supposedly “borrowing” from Bowie: In her fail dreams! Bowie: The greatest artist of the 1970s. “I can remember standing by the wall, and the guns shot above our heads, and we kissed as though nothing could fall.” Ah, romance.
4. “Heart of Glass” by Blondie – It would take a serious chick to sing this song in the original key. Or a eunuch.
5. “Baracuda” by Heart – My brother named one of his badass ‘70s street racecars “Baracuda.” So I have that personal memory associated with this old rocker. But listen to that galloping mustang guitar line! “Ewwww, Baracuda!” You’d think you’d hear this more on the Strip. You don’t?
6. “One Step Beyond” by Madness – The nastiest sound around. Back then. My favorite trivia about this song: It’s in the top 5 death/funeral songs listed in the debate between John Cusack and Jack Black in “High Fidelity.”
7. “Fire” by Ohio Players – Horns and marshmallow hats, baby.
8. “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart” by Al Green — I love the Bee Gee’s original version. But Al Green flipped it into a false-waltz beat. I’m a fool for any sentimental romantic song that goes one-two-three.
9. “Logical Song” by Supertramp – Pretty pretty. And a political song for all the libs in the house: “Watch what you say, they’ll be calling you a radical, a liberal, oh fanatical, criminal. Won’t you sign up your name, we’d like to feel you’re acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable.” Granted, it fit the Bush years more than the Obama years.
10. “More, More, More” by Andrea True Connection – Dummmmb disco song. Love it! Pop culture occasionally flirts with this song. Stupid “Sex & the City” used it as a season trailer song one year. But since it’s so bubblegummy, it never sticks around longer than to pop into culture and dissolve in the back of your mouth, so to speak.