The Water Cooler

■ Vdara pool employees say the CityCenter hotel’s shiny towers concentrate sunlight on the pool deck to create a “Vdara death ray.” There’s also a “Vdara bikini-disintegrating ray,” but that’s found elsewhere on the pool deck.

■ Scientists say they’ve discovered a new dinosaur species in the Southern Utah desert that boasts an ornate array of 15 horns in its head. They’re calling it “Lizardus Showgirlus.”

■ Joaquin Phoenix u25B6 admits to David Letterman that his rap career was just an elaborate piece of performance art. Also revealed as just elaborate pieces of performance art: every documentary Michael Moore has ever made.

JOHN PRZYBYS (jprzybys@reviewjournal.com)