For the good of the Vegas hive

If I were the King of Vegas …

1. Be it resolved that the governor of Nevada shall from this day forward establish a partisan-free, blue-ribbon panel to vet candidates for state boards. Relying only on political patronage and good-old-boyism for regulatory boards shall henceforth and forevermore be prohibited.

2. Be it further resolved that when it comes to state medical oversight boards, no doctor who makes more than $2 million a year need apply. If you’re making that much, you’re precisely the kind of doctor upon which the oversight boards need to focus.

3. Attention endoscopy clinic doctors — start caring about your patients and stop hiding behind your lawyer. Your truth exam with the people of Nevada is long overdue. Please report to the Review-Journal at 6 a.m. Monday for a 9 a.m. procedure.

Bring a flashlight and lubricant. It may take a while.

4. Since Congress deemed it worthy enough to hold hearings on whether baseball players used performance enhancing drugs, the king finds it odd that he must now degree that these same congressfolk show similar interest in something really important — the public health concerns raised by practices at the endoscopy center.

A little national attention is required.

5. Las Vegas nightclubs "four-walled" into casinos will cease operating as law-enforcement free zones. Period. Future infractions will go directly to issues of the casino’s gaming license.

See rule No. 1 for a much-needed rethink of gaming regulatory appointments.

6. Clark County sheriffs, U.S. attorneys and FBI supervisors assigned to the Las Vegas office must abstain from flipping jobs into gaming-related companies regulated by the state of Nevada. The king has nothing but the highest regard for his hard-working law-enforcement friends.

In light of decree No. 5, the king has a hunch this would be a good rule.

7. Judges shall not use cocaine. This is an ironclad rule. Don’t make the king issue further decrees.

8. If a member of the Nevada Gaming Commission declares a conflict of interest more than three times a meeting for five consecutive meetings, that appointee’s seat must automatically be vacated.

9. In the midst of cutbacks in city services, the Las Vegas City Council plans to build a new $150 million City Hall a few blocks away from its current, perfectly good, City Hall. Mayor Oscar Goodman says the city’s unanimous vote was a "no-brainer." The king agrees. But from now on, be it decreed that brains must be used when making city decisions.

10. And finally, let us end by speaking of people who do use their brains.

The king wishes to thank all readers of the Review-Journal for their much-appreciated loyalty. Because of readers such as you, the Las Vegas Review-Journal will be one of the few metropolitan newspapers in the country to post a nice gain in paid circulation this year. The king can’t say this enough: Thank you very much.

 

Sherman Frederick (sfrederick@ reviewjournal.com) is president of the Stephens Media Group and publisher of the Review-Journal.