World Peace retains sense of humor

Dramatic endings usually play well in Los Angeles. But this is not a movie, and there was no last-second shot from superhero Kobe Bryant to save the season.

The Lakers have been dumped from the NBA playoffs, left to panic and ponder another premature elimination while the head honchos in the front office face tough questions during an uncertain offseason.

Is it time to trade big men Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum? Is Steve Nash the answer at point guard? Is Bryant showing his age? Is coach Mike Brown too fat to run practices?

Metta World Peace, also known as Ron Artest, was the lone figure laughing in the face of adversity. He sort of defended Brown after the Lakers were ousted by Oklahoma City in Game 5 of the Western Conference semifinals Monday.

"Mike wasn't out there guarding Kevin (Durant)," World Peace said. "That was me. Kevin scored on me. Mike didn't miss that 3-point shot. I missed it. Mike didn't come into camp out of shape."

World Peace smiled and added, "Wait ... he did come in out of shape. Mike is a fat ass."

So, Brown's defense and 3-point shooting did not doom the Lakers. But his conditioning could use some work.

Los Angeles Times columnist Bill Plaschke was in a melodramatic mood as he reflected on the Lakers' failed postseason.

"What happened here on a strange and sad night felt like the end of an era," Plaschke reported from Oklahoma City. "Bryant's window to win a sixth championship in Los Angeles may have officially shut, and who knows whether he will want to stick around to spend his final years pressing his nose against the glass?"

Jack Nicholson will be back, and Bryant will stick around, too. But what about Steve Blake and Ramon Sessions? And will famous fans Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Timberlake care enough to return to their courtside seats next season? Tough questions confront the Lakers.

■ YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AGAIN - Stranded without a corporate sponsor this spring, UFC light heavyweight champion Jon Jones found an odd partner - his employer.

Prior to his victory over Rashad Evans at UFC 145, Jones was sponsored by the Ultimate Fighting Championship. He explained the unprecedented move by saying, "I'm glad the UFC wanted to work with me, and I think that they trust that I'll never make them look bad. You never have to worry about me with a DWI (driving while intoxicated) or doing something crazy. I think I'm a good company guy."

The "good company guy" was arrested Saturday in New York for driving under the influence, after wrecking his 2012 Bentley into a utility pole. How crazy is that?

■ BODY OF WORK - Arizona Diamondbacks third baseman Ryan Roberts is trying to hide something. Specifically, his skin. Roberts has more than 300 tattoos inked on his body.

From Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "Or as the milestone is better known in body-art circles, tatting 300."

Unfortunately for Roberts, he is batting .236.

COMPILED BY MATT YOUMANS
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL