Unattached in valley flock to Internet

Johnna Diaz, a twice-divorced 45-year-old administrative assistant and Las Vegas native, wasn't meeting the right men through her circle of friends and co-workers. So, like 20,000 other valley singles, she posted her profile on a dating Web site called plentyoffish.com.

"I was looking for the opportunity to meet more people," says Diaz, who goes by the user name "softedge." "I think this offers more potential to try to get to know somebody a little better."

Almost immediately, Diaz began making dates.

"People like online dating because it's relatively anonymous, it's personal, it's distant, and rejection is easier if that should occur," says Martha McBride, emeritus professor of counseling at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

"And it's convenient. You can do it in the middle of the night."

Online dating is behind only MP3 files in Internet income generation, according to Web tracker Jupiter Research.

Membership dues and advertising rates provide that income, and more than 800 dating Web sites are vying for a piece of what Jupiter estimates is a $500 million pie.

Many serve people with particular preferences in a mate. Jews, Christians, Hindus, Asians and vegetarians each have their own sites, to name a few groups. But the most successful, match.com, is all-inclusive.

"Online dating offers the chance to get out of whatever pattern you're in and broaden your pool," says Ian Kerner, a relationship therapist and match.com spokesman.

"People are working longer and longer hours, and we're a country that's increasingly embracing technology. So online dating is no longer stigmatized. It's usually part of a multipronged approach to dating."

Until about five years ago, dating sites were male-dominated. But, the experts agree, usage is now even in gender.

"I think (online dating) is so popular because you have a chance to meet 500 people that match your criteria," says Marcus Frind, chief executive officer of plentyoffish.com. "If you're going to go to a bar, club or supermarket, how many people are you going to meet?

"And are they really going to meet your criteria?"

The most-visited Web site in the United States, MySpace.com, does not classify itself as a dating site. But that is one of its most common uses, which means the online dating data are underestimated. MySpace averages 5 percent of all Internet hits and boasts 172 million profiles.

"I've met a lot of girls on MySpace," says Richard Young, a 31-year-old computer engineer and Las Vegas native. "I have 7,000 or 8,000 friends that are primarily girls."

Young, who is divorced, says meeting women in the real world is not a problem for him.

"I have a very outgoing personality," he says. "The problem is finding quality women. I'm not just looking for casual sex. I'm looking for something long term."

Young, who notes he is dating someone he met online, says he's sick of the attitude of nightclubbing Las Vegas women.

"I try not to go to Tao and meet girls because they're generally not into a long-term relationship," he says.

There are caveats to meeting your soul mate over a cable modem, however. The biggest is that it makes deception easier, as Diaz discovered. One of the plentyoffish.com users she reeled in was secretly married.

"I consider myself to be an intelligent, assertive woman, and I was played," she says. "We went out for five months before I found out. And I'm not a stupid bird."

Diaz says the burn hasn't deterred her from playing the digital field, however.

"I've been on there for a year and in that time there are only two men I've seen more than once," she says. "But the friendships I've incurred from this are more beneficial than the two relationships I've had." (Diaz even hosted a Halloween party for friends she met on the site.)

Kerner maintains that deception isn't any greater online than it is in a bar.

"A guy will tell a girl he's a doctor or a pilot," he says. "I don't think people are more dishonest online."

But McBride argues that Diaz was lucky, considering what could have happened.

"You have to be really, really careful because you don't know who you're dealing with," she warns. "There's no protection, no guarantee they've been screened even if the service says they've been."

One new dating site attempts to thwart scammers and predators by collecting references from friends and family members of each user.

"It's harder to just write anything on our site," says Joelle Kaufman, vice president of product and marketing for engage.com. "And we also screen out people who are sending e-mails to hundreds at the same time and people who are misrepresenting where they're from.

"Often, they're saying they're from Ohio, (but) they're from Nigeria."

Once a potential suitor is identified, McBride still recommends a level of caution not necessary when hooked up by a friend or family member.

"Never meet them for the first time in a place that's not safe," she says. "You meet them at Starbucks in broad daylight, where there's a lot of people around."

These safeguards might become the dating norm because the growth of online dating shows no signs of slowing.

Match.com is testing a high-end service in its home city, Dallas, which it plans to roll out in various U.S. cities this year.

"Users will see dating services offer VIP services at $500-plus a year," says Mark Brooks, operator of onlinepersonalswatch.com. "Rather than just getting them online and talking to people, they will say, 'We will get you so many dates for this amount of money.'"

Brooks says the new services are inspired by the success of matchmaking services such as Great Expectations and It's Just Lunch, which charge thousands for customized advice from a personal matchmaker.

"Traditional matchmaking services provide great service, but they don't have many people to choose from," Brooks says. "The online dating industry's got the opposite problem."