Golf course dwellers frustrated with players acting like bums

When the retired couple moved up to Red Rock Country Club, they were impressed by the views of the scenic Arroyo Golf Club course and beyond from their own backyard.

"We have a view of downtown," my resident source says. "We have a view of the Strip. We have a view of a little pond. We have a golf course view. And we have a mountain view on the west side."

Designed by Arnold Palmer, the Arroyo course is a par-72, 6,883-yard emerald carved from the foothills that lead to Red Rock Canyon. Its rolling Bermuda fairways undulate toward Bentgrass greens. No matter what you've heard, as long as you can afford the greens fees, there's no water shortage.

In fact, you might say there's an overabundance of precipitation in some areas.

When they purchased their dream home, the couple didn't know its view would include a man-made water feature in the form of a seemingly endless stream of golfers urinating just off the fairway and in full Monty of red-faced residents.

Welcome to Heineken Falls at Arroyo Golf Club.

And they say those exclusive enclaves aren't as classy as advertised.

Down in the valley, working stiffs living around Huntridge Park thought they had it bad when area transients used the public space on Maryland Parkway as an open-air bathroom.

At least city marshals regularly cruised the park in an effort to keep the mess to a minimum, and Las Vegas officials passed an unconstitutional regulation aimed at preventing the unauthorized feeding of the homeless in groups and banning bums from sleeping too close to human excrement.

On the upper end of the valley's southwestern slope, maybe the rules are different. For starters, the bums at Huntridge Park don't drive golf carts or wear plaid pants.

That's the irony at play. The down-and-out get harassed as the city attempts to lamely regulate their bad behavior, but the socially acceptable urinate in public without looking over their shoulders, so to speak.

That is, until our angry Red Rock residents started taking photographs of the offending duffers.

My resident source says she has snapped approximately 60 shots and has even sent them to her homeowner's association.

Trouble is, she says, the homeowners' association doesn't manage the golf course. My call to Arroyo's manager wasn't returned. My source reports the prevailing theme of her brief conversations with course officials can be distilled into: "Lighten up. It's that way at every golf course."

Even if, as is the case at Arroyo, Heineken Falls is approximately 200 yards from available bathrooms and management has taken the step of placing directions to the appropriate facilities on the golf carts.

"I think that's the most egregious thing," she says.

In March, she and her husband were playing host to a backyard dinner party that included three children, when their evening reverie was broken by yet another golfer on the go.

"He just pees in front of us without any regard to us and without caring whether there are people around," she says. "To have this kind of stuff happen to us, it's just really quite unsettling. Golf is supposed to be a gentleman's sport.

"By no means were these people gentlemen."

More eerie is the golfer who she says has repeatedly returned to his favorite spot in view of the couple's home. She calls it "harassment from a private member."

Double-entendre not intended.

"The management said those guys were just being silly," she said. "We are being treated like we are the bad guys because we do not want to witness public urination."

I think she's right.

But what does she do?

There are no pee-pee police in polished neighborhoods. This calls for vigilante action.

A power sprinkler hooked to a motion sensor might help. I'd suggest the couple install a bank of floodlights, but it sounds like they've already seen more than they ever wanted to.

Here's a thought. Post those incriminating photographs on the Internet in a blog with a clever address. Something like www.Putterstrutter.com has a certain ring to it.

If that fails, the offended parties could always display warning signs or broadcast a recording with this instruction:

"Please go elsewhere to work on your short game."

Golfers are very sensitive about these things.

John L. Smith's column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. E-mail him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0295.