Losing employment may bring on the blues

There is no shame in feeling depressed. Long-term job hunts often lead to feelings of despair on top of financial problems.

A study this summer by the Pew Research Center confirmed that a loss of self-respect, strained or lost personal relationships, and increased pessimism are common companions to job loss.

If you're suffering from extended unemployment, there's probably little comfort in knowing these are widespread reactions. Misery may love company, but it isn't a cure.

What can help is getting help or giving help.

Anyone familiar with grief knows that recovery begins with going through a process that recognizes the loss. So it is with job-related depression. Recognize how and why you feel the way you do.

The second step is seeking resources to tackle the problem. Those resources include counseling and prescription drugs -- two things that job hunters frequently shy away from because of stigma or costs.

Advice is usually easier to give than to take, but here it is: Erase the stigma, and consider the money well spent. (Yes, I know that's tough when the bills are piling up.)

I often hear from job hunters who are so angry, so depressed, so hurt that they can't begin to present themselves as energetic, emotionally stable employees.

That's the "get help" part. Here's the "give help" aspect:

If you can motivate yourself to leave the house and volunteer with a nonprofit that helps others, you will feel better about yourself. No, it won't solve your financial woes. It possibly could lead to a job, but that's not the reason to do it.

Time and again, I've heard from job seekers who said volunteering kept them sane during their extended unemployment. Giving help gave them a sense of self-worth and built personal relationships -- both worth their weight in gold during tough times.

Counselors also recommend a simple but effective positive-thinking tool: Each day, write in a "gratitude journal" something for which you're thankful.