Reporters’ Notebook

U.S. CUSTOMS AND BORDER PATROL AGENTS HAVE BEEN BUSY lately apprehending hundreds of illegal immigrants at McCarran International Airport. But if a recent morning shift was any indication, the agents spend much of their time directing clueless tourists through baggage claim.

A steady stream of them approached two agents early Wednesday while the men were on their rounds, asking a dizzying array of such important national security-related questions as: Where's the bathroom? How do I get a taxi? Where do I get quarters for the meter? Where's baggage claim? (This one was asked of the agents while the questioner was standing in baggage claim.)

One woman in a gold lame shirt asked where she could meet the folks who were scheduled to pick her up. When it was brought to her attention that she was talking to Border Patrol agents, she said, "Oh! My bad!" waved, and dragged her carry-on away. The agents took it all in stride. "We turn into tour guides," one said.

LYNNETTE CURTIS

MAN DOWNTOWN, SANS PANTS.

A city marshal talked last week to an apparently homeless man at Frank Wright Plaza, the small park across from Las Vegas City Hall that has become known as the Stewart Street Motel for the indigent who sleep there.

City marshal: "After all the years I've known you, I can't believe you won't tell me if you've seen a man with no pants on."

Frank Wright Plaza regular: "I'm looking for girls with no pants on."

DAVID McGRATH SCHWARTZ

LEGISLATORS WORKING THEIR BUTTS OFF IN CARSON CITY CAN TAKE SOLACE in the fact that at the very least, they're providing entertainment for the state's chief executive.

"The Legislature is working diligently to meet the deadlines of June 4, and it's truly a fascinating sight," Gov. Jim Gibbons said in Las Vegas on Thursday.

MOLLY BALL

ON TUESDAY, NYE COUNTY COMMISSION CHAIRMAN GARY HOLLIS wanted to make the point that the planned nuclear waste facility at Yucca Mountain is not a "dump." It's a "repository," he told the U.S. Transport Council, a nongovernment group backed by the nuclear power industry that advocates communication and transparency in discussing the issue.

"A dump is a hole in the ground. A repository is somewhere where you put something valuable that's safe," Hollis said. "We're putting something in there that's valuable, that's safe."

The next day, Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman handed out sticky note pads at the Nevada Nuclear Projects Commission meeting. The notes feature the smiling mayor waving one hand in front of the volcanic rock ridge, holding a green sign in the other that reads: "Dump Yucca Mountain."

KEITH ROGERS

THIS REPORTER DIDN'T EXPECT EMBATTLED DISTRICT JUDGE Elizabeth Halverson to answer her office phone when he called last week. So he believed the woman when she said the judge wasn't available.

Then an unusual noise -- the sound of rhythmic puffs of air -- was heard on the other end of the line that caused him to wonder. The following is a loose transcript of the ensuing conversation.

Reporter: Is this Judge Halverson?

Person on the other end of the line: pfft No. pfft

Reporter: OK. Tell her I called.

Person on the other end of the line: pfft I'll give her pfft your message. pfft

Was the puffing in the background the tell-tale sound of Halverson's ever-present oxygen tank?

Add another mystery to the ongoing saga.

BRIAN HAYNES

COMEDY CENTRAL'S "THE COLBERT REPORT" TOOK ON the Las Vegas City Council's recent vote ordering Towbin Hummer to take down a 100-foot flagpole flying the Stars and Stripes.

Stephen Colbert, the unctuous host of the "O'Reilly Factor" parody, showed footage of car dealer Dan Towbin in an early morning CNN interview about the controversy. When the CNN host asked Towbin if he was merely using the giant flag to drum up business, Towbin responded by saying he'd always wanted a big flag in front of his business.

Colbert then jumped in: "For those who question Mr. Towbin's patriotism, I say, 'What is more patriotic than a businessman at his Las Vegas Hummer dealership standing before a giant American flag at sunrise?'

"That would make a great flag," he continued, displaying a mock-up of such a flag. "Now, just in case ours ever wears out, we've got a backup."

MICHAEL SQUIRES