Try not to yawn as presidential suitors keep calling

My sport coat needs a dry cleaning, my shoes are unpolished, and I've forgotten how to order a corsage. While my personal sense of style runs to the wrinkled and rumpled, I still want to look my best now that the courting has begun.

You'll want to spruce up, too, because you're starting to receive the full-court press. Expect flowers and candy any day.

Not from some ranch house Romeo or jukebox Juliet, but from none other than President Barack Obama and presumptive Republican challenger Mitt Romney. These days they're on Nevada television more than men with erectile dysfunction.

In case you were wondering, you can expect this election to last longer than four hours. Much, much longer.

By early November, don't be surprised if a campaign surrogate offers to dry clean your jacket, shine your shoes, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. For weeks the candidates and their interest groups have been sending you televised love notes highlighting their handsome features while accusing the other suitor of possessing the rapacious character of a gin-joint gigolo. Rest assured it will get worse.

Earlier this month, it was reported that Nevada topped all states when it came to campaign TV ad spending per electoral vote. The average: $1.413 million per vote, according to Kantar Media/Campaign Analysis Group, which keeps track of such things. That figure was generated weeks earlier, and the stakes have only risen.

Some political experts consider Nevada a must-win for Obama, but a possible win for Romney. While ground zero in the Silver State presidential showdown could be Washoe County, the race is sure to be close. In a recent average of multiple polls, RealClearPolitics reports Obama with a softening 49 percent and Romney at 44.4 percent.

And while the president has led in a majority of the national polls, including the most recent NBC News/Wall Street Journal survey by 6 percentage points, the number is considered so tenuous in Nevada that an early-autumn economic slump could erase any advantage.

Thus, the hard sell on television as well as the recent Washoe County appearances by the president, the first lady and Romney. (Of the three, Michelle Obama's approval rating is highest.) In the coming weeks, they'll spend enough time here to qualify for residency.

In my favorite moment of the mostly predictable Nevada campaign, Romney strategists saw fit in mid-July to send the official campaign bus on a tour through the state. The only trouble was, the candidate wasn't actually on the customized motor coach.

Excited supporters took snapshots anyway. If they couldn't get their Mitt, they at least got his officially approved mode of transportation!

The way I see it, Nevada's increased importance in the presidential race puts its citizens in position to demand more than a drive-by wave or drop-in visit from the candidates. I say we hold out for genuine benefits.

Nothing so tame as affordable health care or a balanced budget. Something we know they can deliver.

Car won't start?

Have the president give you a jump. (Let's hope he doesn't use those solar-powered cables.)

Trouble doing your taxes?

Ask Romney to pencil them out. He knows the loopholes. Although we don't know what he used to not pay because he hasn't released his old returns, we know what he pays lately. And that's good enough for me.

Is your horse colicky? Get Ann Romney's advice. She's part-owner of a fine equine entered in the dressage competition of the Olympics.

Tomatoes won't produce? Enter first lady Michelle with her green thumb. She's the author of "American Grown: The Story of the White House Kitchen Garden and Gardens Across America." But has she ever tried to grow eggplant in Ely, or turnips in Tonopah?

We probably won't get the personal touch. Our votes may be important, but we'll be lucky to receive even a few straight answers.

At this point, I'd settle for flowers and candy.

John L. Smith's column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. Email him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call 702-383-0295. He also blogs at lvrj.com/blogs/smith. Follow him on Twitter @jlnevadasmith.