Neal Smatresk is a very funny guy

Credit new UNLV President Neal Smatresk for recognizing that especially during tough times, a good laugh can lift the troops' morale.

He launched the new academic year with a genuine gut-buster -- an Aug. 28 e-mail to campus heralding the long-awaited exit of Christine Clark from her post as vice president of diversity and inclusion.

Except the e-mail announcing what can only be described as a thoroughly deserved demotion -- Clark is moving from a cabinet-level post to a faculty job -- read more like a canonization.

"Dr. Clark has done an outstanding job against tremendous odds," said the e-mail. "Indeed, as our inaugural Vice President for Diversity and Inclusion, Dr. Clark did the really heavy lifting -- both administratively and politically -- that is always involved in establishing a ground breaking initiative."

Tremendous odds, indeed. What were the chances someone could infuriate or frighten so many people across campus in just two years?

"As a result of these foundational efforts," the e-mail continued, "her successor will truly enjoy great benefits as a result of Dr. Clark's work. In fact, the entire campus community owes Dr. Clark a debt of gratitude for blazing the trail for social justice work at the senior administrative level at UNLV."

A debt of gratitude? Ha, ha, ha! Stop it, Neal! You're killing me!

Followers of this column are familiar with the damage Clark caused during her brief tenure as a UNLV administrator. Hired by since-fired President David Ashley to launch what amounts to an office of political correctness, Clark proceeded to pursue "diversity and inclusion" through confrontational and divisive means -- not to mention violating higher education system protocols. Some of her "heavy lifting" included:

-- Improperly dispatching her office's own lobbyist to Carson City to push legislation that mucks up public school curriculums with more feel-good "multiculturalism" drivel.

-- Drafting an unconstitutional speech code that compelled campus police to investigate free expression and hurt feelings.

-- Compiling UNLV's "Faculty of Color" directory, which segregates UNLV employees who identify themselves as racial, ethnic or sexual minorities from campus heterosexual whites, offending academics of all colors.

-- Creating a series of one-credit "intergroup dialogues" for students, which would have required participants to meet for two hours a week, for eight straight weeks, to "explore, question and confront existing tensions and divisions" regarding race (white vs. nonwhite), gender (men vs. women) and sexual orientation; the course on religion would examine "the impact of Christian privilege in the United States." After other administrators learned that the "dialogues" would have required students to disclose their sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity or disabilities and be placed in class sections based on those factors, the potentially demeaning courses were canceled.

-- Giving one of her staff members a $23,000 pay raise when budgets were being slashed across campus.

Granted, given the circumstances outlined above, plenty of people at UNLV didn't find Smatresk's e-mail the slightest bit funny. Aside from touting the move as Clark's "return" to faculty, even though she's never served in that capacity, the fawning e-mail included separate references to Clark's "international recognition" and "national reputation" in all things PC, and two new titles for Clark: founding vice president for diversity and inclusion and senior scholar in multicultural education.

Worse, the over-the-top bootlicking included an attached farewell-and-thanks letter from Clark herself. Curiously, that letter included some phrases and clauses identical to those in the e-mail purportedly from Smatresk.

That was the giveaway. I smelled a lawyer.

After some poking around, I got in touch with attorney Adam Levine, who represented Clark in her, ahem, "transition." Did he or Clark write Smatresk's message, then compel him to blast it to all? You know, lest UNLV find itself in some unfortunate, costly and protracted litigation?

"Absolutely not," Levine said. "I certainly have no reason to believe the e-mail is anything but a sincere expression of the president's gratitude."

So I asked Smatresk about the e-mail and if he actually wrote it (while dry-heaving over his wastebasket, no doubt). He e-mailed his response: "Dr. Clark approached ... with the desire to return to a tenured faculty position. The transition is voluntary and not a demotion. ... To smooth the transition and avoid any disputes, the parties signed mutual releases, and they agreed upon announcements and the informal use of titles. The specific agreement is a personnel document and is confidential."

Read between the lines. Smatresk took one for the team, here. This was the humiliating price he was willing to pay -- the equivalent of putting on a clown suit and wearing a "kick me" sign -- to make Clark go away quietly and quickly. If you care about UNLV, this is a good thing.

So Clark will teach one class this semester while collecting her annual salary of $162,760. Next semester, that salary will be reduced to $135,200 (the horror!) to be brought more in line with other College of Education faculty.

Meanwhile, the Office of Diversity and Inclusion will live on at UNLV, at least in the short term. Smatresk must make sure it drops its dangerous, taxpayer-funded obsessions with controlling free speech, coddling the easily offended and re-educating those who won't climb aboard the group-think bandwagon. Diversity of skin color, sexual preference and religion does nothing to improve higher education without diversity of thought.

In a meeting with the Review-Journal's editorial board last week, Smatresk said he envisions the office's next leader, among other unifying characteristics, being someone who can raise more money than the university pays him or her. Which would seem to suggest that Clark's style of "inclusion" wasn't particularly appealing to donors.

All this is very instructive in two regards: First, it highlights the disconnect between the public sector and the private sector. In the real world, if you anger and frighten your colleagues, create policies with no regard to the law, break company rules, scare away customers and help get your immediate supervisor fired, you get canned. In government, you get a glowing exit announcement, a few months of part-time work at CEO pay and two titles to replace the one you just lost. Second, it proves that once you create even the smallest abusive government bureaucracy, you can never, ever, ever, ever get rid of it. Ever.

But this little saga ends with a punch line that goes back to the made-for-"Saturday Night Live" e-mail Smatresk sent out: Clark believes every word of it.

-- -- --

My Aug. 30 column, "Politically correct mumbo-jumbo in our schools," generated a flood of response from disgusted parents and taxpayers.

The column addressed a list of qualities related to the "development of character" and "positive human conduct" sent home with Clark County School District elementary students. Among the qualities and behaviors supposedly crucial to the education of 5- to 11-year-olds: "working for peace in the global village," "acknowledging prejudices and striving to overcome them" and "seeking social justice."

Fortunately, Clark County School Board trustees read the column, too. On Thursday, board President Terri Janison said she had talked with the school district's administration about the fluff, most of which she considered inappropriate and incomprehensible.

Janison said the sheet, along with similar documents that are distributed on autopilot to middle school and high school students, would be "cleaned up" to be more aligned with School Board priorities and policies.

Which, presumably, don't include liberal euphemisms such as "seeking social justice."

Glenn Cook (gcook@reviewjournal.com) is a Review-Journal editorial writer.