Networks botch exit polls again

Every time television surveyors botch an exit poll (as they did in spectacular fashion in New Hampshire last week), memories of the late Chicago newspaper columnist Mike Royko return to the fore of American consciousness.

And that's a good thing, if you ask me. Newspapers need more Royko-type personalities.

The son of a taxi driver, Royko wrote from a common man's perspective, specializing in City Hall corruption, a wistful love of the Chicago Cubs and a gritty lifting up of the multicultural neighborhoods from which he came.

One election year before the Illinois primary, Royko, angry with television stations calling winners before people finished voting, suggested readers do one simple thing when asked questions by pollsters: lie.

Screw up the whole television prediction game. For example, if on Saturday a pollster asks who you plan to support as you head into a Democratic caucus site, you say Obama if you like Clinton and Clinton if you like Obama.

It's a beautiful solution. Of course, I'm not suggesting you do that. I'm only telling you a story about Mike Royko.

However, if I were telling you to lie to pollsters, I'd suggest saying you favor Dennis Kucinich. Imagine the fun in seeing the talking heads at Fox News, CNN, etc., tap dance on the air for an hour explaining the surprising Kucinich surge in Nevada.

Since I have you thinking about Mike Royko, consider a few other quotes from this politically incorrect newspaper icon:

-- "I never went to a John Wayne movie to find a philosophy to live by or to absorb a profound message. I went for the simple pleasure of spending a couple of hours seeing the bad guys lose."

-- "Hating the (New York) Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax."

-- "It's my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies."

-- "God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west."

-- "Show me the worst school districts in Detroit, New York, Chicago and Los Angeles and I'll show you parents that shouldn't be raising a Chia Pet, much less a child."

Like I said, you gotta love Mike Royko.

Sabbath or caucus?

Whoever decided it a good and right thing to hold the Nevada presidential caucuses on a Saturday -- the Jewish Sabbath -- ought to have his or her head examined. Look, no day of the week guarantees 100 percent participation, but a Saturday caucus disenfranchises a whole religion.

Note to party leaders: This is embarrassing. Fix it next time around.

Goodbye, judge

Everyone knew the Nevada Commission on Judicial Discipline would file a lengthy complaint against District Judge Elizabeth Halverson. It came last week with a surprise -- in addition to the well-known accusations of falling asleep on the bench, dining privately with jurors and harassing staff, she is alleged to have hired a computer nerd to hack into the District Court e-mail files.

If the rumor at the courthouse is true -- the geek wore a wire -- then there's only one thing left to say: Goodbye, judge.

Sherman Frederick is publisher of the Las Vegas Review-Journal and president of Stephens Media. Readers may write him at sfrederick@ reviewjournal.com.