Plaintiffs never lose, in the lawsuit lottery

On Wednesday, a lawsuit was filed in a New Jersey court, seeking to require hot dog manufacturers to place health warning labels on their products.

The Washington-based Cancer Project and its affiliate, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, contend processed meats such as hot dogs are a significant cause of colorectal and other forms of cancer.

Janet Riley of the American Meat Institute and the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council responds the Cancer Project won't be happy till they've made everyone a vegetarian.

Then, on Thursday, the Center for Science in the Public Interest filed a class action lawsuit on behalf of a New Jersey man -- is there some reason it's always New Jersey? -- contending most meals at the Denny's restaurant chain are dangerously high in sodium, putting the chain's customers at greater risk of high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke.

The plaintiff, 48-year-old Nick DeBenedetto, takes high blood pressure medication and has eaten at two local Denny's outlets for many years. Some of his favorite Denny's items, such as Moons Over My Hammy, contain 2,580 milligrams of sodium all by themselves -- more than the 1,500 mg per day recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

'"I was astonished -- I mean, literally floored -- to find that these simple sandwiches have more salt than someone in my condition should have in a whole day," Mr. DeBenedetto says.

Here's hoping he didn't further injure himself when he took that tumble.

The lawsuit seeks to compel Denny's to disclose on menus the amount of sodium in each of its meals and to place a warning notice on its menus.

Finally, comes news Friday that a 20-year ex-dealer at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas has sued the Strip resort, contending she was forced to quit her job when the casino refused to accommodate her wishes to work in a smoke-free area.

Jay Edelson, the Chicago-based attorney representing Tomo Stephens, contends, "The point of this lawsuit is not to ban smoking in casinos. ... We are not trying to stop smokers from gambling."

Really? It would be nice to think Mr. Edelson would settle for a little walking-around money to help his client find some other job more to her liking. But these plaintiffs will forgive us if we've learned to take many of their claims with our own grain of salt.

Some of the problems with prepared meats presumably stem from the presence of preservatives, which are there because the health consequences of eating spoiled meats are much more sudden and severe. Since hitting the floor, has Mr. DeBenedetto switched to raw carrots and celery sticks?

As for second-hand smoke, if even half the poseurs who claimed "As soon as they ban smoking I'll spend three nights a week at my local tavern" had actually shown up, we'd see "Help Wanted" signs for cooks and waitresses sprouting all over town -- not the current level of unemployment in the industry.

Meantime, the "science" of second-hand smoke danger is among the most politicized ever produced -- the initial research conducted partially in areas where veterans of Second World War shipyards already suffered from asbestos exposure, and even then the initial findings of "no harm" sent back with instructions to adjust the math of "substantial harm" as necessary.

Defending against such lawsuits and complying with whatever edicts the court may approve make it harder and harder for any eatery to thrive.

The Europeans are wrong about a lot of things, but they solved this long ago -- with a solution that, coincidentally, would probably drive down Americans' medical costs, unlike anything now being peddled on Capitol Hill.

Congress could give defendants a lot stronger incentive to energetically defend against such actions (rather than caving in as the cheapest option) -- and make many any ambulance chaser think twice before filing one -- by simply requiring that any plaintiff who fails in court must pay every penny of the defendant's legal fees and court costs.

The "Center for Science in the Public Interest" isn't new to this game. The outfit has also sued Anheuser-Busch, Frito-Lay, Kellogg, KFC, Kraft, Sara Lee, and more.

How many times have the courts slapped such plaintiffs on the wrist for over-reaching, requiring them to pay millions of dollars in defendants' court costs and legal fees?

You already know, don't you?