The Stimulus Fairy

Fiscal watchdog Tom Coburn, the Republican senator from Oklahoma, has for years been a consistent and principled thorn in the side of Democratic -- and GOP -- big spenders.

On Tuesday, he again reveled in that role as he released a list of 100 dubious government make-work projects brought to us by the White House Stimulus Fairy under the guise of reviving the economy. Among them:

-- Florida will spend more than $3 million to build a turtle crossing under U.S. Highway 27 in Lake Jackson. "Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the other side of a stimulus project," the Coburn report says.

-- A town in North Carolina is using stimulus funds to hire an administrator who will be charged with getting more stimulus funds.

-- An Oklahoma town will receive $1.5 million for a $5 million wastewater treatment plant. But because of the federal strings attached, the cost of the plant will increase to $7.2 million, forcing the town to raise utility taxes.

-- Several states will spend stimulus money on road signs placed at construction sites to inform motorists that the project is being paid for with stimulus money.

-- Montana's state-run liquor warehouse will get $2.2 million to install skylights.

"Will these projects," the Coburn report asks, "make real improvements in the lives of taxpayers and communities or are they simply pet projects of politicians and lobbyists that never got off the ground because they are a low priority?"

And if you miss the answer to that question, we've got a wonderful, lake-front time share for you in bustling downtown Austin.