Why, you’re practically a local if …
The comment is always the same, and it always comes quickly. Whenever I mention to anyone that I'm fast approaching 20 years of residency in Las Vegas, the reply is, "You're practically a local."
Genuine locals -- the born-and-raised variety -- take offense when transplants are awarded such a title. But the label sticks nonetheless because of the valley's extreme transiency, a constant churning of the population that speeds residents up the seniority ladder, and because of the incredible transformation of Sin City over just two decades. Most cities haven't changed as much in 50 years.
So, with apologies to comedians Jeff Foxworthy and Dana Carvey, I'm pulling a pair of black socks up to my knees, strapping on my sandals and channeling my inner grumpy old man for a few "back in my day" memories.
You're practically a local if ...
... You remember when COMDEX (Computer Dealers' Exhibition) was the trade show to end all trade shows, sending the valley's per-capita pocket protector population through the convention center roof.
... You worked out at the valley's coolest gym, the Sporting House -- before it underwent a multimillion-dollar renovation and became Sapphire Gentlemen's Club.
... You drove Interstate 15 alongside the Strip when it was just two lanes in each direction.
You're practically a local if ...
... You remember when the only casino with a movie theater was the Gold Coast.
... You dodged cabs crossing the Strip on foot at Tropicana Avenue or Flamingo Road because there were no pedestrian bridges.
... You were ever stuck in traffic on the Strip because there were no pedestrian bridges.
You're practically a local if ...
... You've played slots with coins.
... You've played $1 blackjack.
... You remember when Rhodes Ranch was the only sign of civilization in the entire southwest valley.
You're practically a local if ...
... You remember $1 drinks, $2 breakfasts and $3 lunch buffets.
... You once completed all your Christmas shopping at the corner of Sahara Avenue and Decatur Boulevard.
... You ate at Kilroy's when you couldn't get a burger and a beer any farther west.
You're practically a local if ...
... You visited the Strip's stab at family-friendly fun, the MGM Grand Adventures Theme Park.
... You personally witnessed a casino implosion.
... You remember when there were no nightclubs on the Strip.
You're practically a local if ...
... You ever stopped for a train crossing at Spring Mountain Road between I-15 and the Strip.
... You chowed down on free, late-night, all-you-can-eat buffalo wings at Alias Smith & Jones.
... You remember the Rodney King riots, and how they forced the Los Angeles Lakers to move a playoff game to the Thomas & Mack Center.
You're practically a local if ...
... You partied downtown when the Fremont Street experience didn't include a light-show canopy.
... You remember when everyone knew at least two people who worked at the Nevada Test Site.
... You puttered around town when there was no beltway and no airport connector.
You're practically a local if ...
... You remember when there were no hospitals west of University Medical Center.
... You went to shows when there was no reserved seating anywhere, just a host waiting for a bribe.
... You lived here when The Mirage ruled the Strip and the term "locals casino" meant Sam's Town or Palace Station.
You're practically a local if ...
... You went to pro football games in Las Vegas -- the Posse of the Canadian Football League, the Sting of the Arena Football League and the Outlaws of the XFL.
... You remember when hockey's Las Vegas Thunder packed the Thomas & Mack.
... You studied in UNLV's old library.
You're practically a local if ...
... You recall when Lance Malone, Erin Kenny and Dario Herrera were considered rising stars in Nevada politics.
... You lived here when Oscar Goodman wasn't mayor of Las Vegas.
... You knew to avoid downtown's Charleston Boulevard reservoir -- oops, I mean underpass -- during rainstorms because of flooding.
You're practically a local if ...
... Watching a movie at the Red Rock once meant the multiplex on Charleston just west of Decatur, not the Red Rock Resort.
... You remember when Lake Mead Drive was the highway to Henderson, and Anthem, Seven Hills and Green Valley Ranch were barren desert.
... You remember when buying a house was considered a good investment.
Online readers, keep this column going in the comments section with your own "practically a local" memories.
Glenn Cook (gcook@reviewjournal.com) is a Review-Journal editorial writer.
