Advice to Boltman, no charge

Though more than 3,200 people checked out Dan Jauregui's eBay auction, the die-hard Chargers fan didn't get a single bid for his Boltman costume.

The 45-year-old has worn the suit, which consists of a muscle-bound body and lightning bolt head, for 13 years at Chargers home games but is ready to surrender his duties as an unofficial mascot.

Jauregui took to the online auction site and offered the costume and intellectual property rights to the character, but the San Diego Union Tribune reports the auction expired without any bids being entered.

The newspaper printed a letter from Jauregui, who theorized the reasons for the failed sale.

"Well, it appears as though the Boltman and I are one? We can't be separated. Maybe it's because with great powers comes great responsibilities," the letter read. "Many we have spoken to cite the economy as a primary reason the Boltman did not sell at auction. Or ... would it be more like trying to separate Clark Kent from Superman?"

Yes, maybe.

Or, perhaps it was because you were asking for a minimum of $75,000, you egomaniacal, delusional moron.

■ FALSE CHARGES -- Former Michigan cornerback Boubacar Cissoko, who is serving a prison term of 19 months to 15 years for four robberies, now faces further charges for allegedly assaulting three prison employees last month while awaiting sentencing.

According to AnnArbor.com, the 22-year-old assaulted a sergeant and two officers at the county jail on the morning of July 31.

Cissoko was kicked off the Wolverines football team in 2009 for violating team rules, before any of his crimes occurred.

The counts Cissoko was convicted of are unfortunate, but the assault charges are clearly not true. Everybody knows that no Michigan defender has hit anyone in years.

■ ALMOST LIFELIKE -- A statue of Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig was unveiled outside Miller Park in Milwaukee on Tuesday night.

Always in tune with pop culture, Selig told The Associated Press he was happy with the accuracy of the rendition.

"Given the guy didn't have much to work with because I was never confused with Clark Gable, I thought he did a masterful job," Selig said. "I thought he captured me really remarkably well."

In fact, the statue was accurate down to the last detail.

It stood stoically with a suit and tie, clutching a baseball in the right hand, and did just as much as the actual Selig did about the rampant steroid problem in the 1990s and early 2000s.

■ SHE'S BACK -- If you don't remember the name Elizabeth Lambert, you probably can at least recall her 15 minutes of fame last year.

The New Mexico soccer player became an Internet celebrity when a clip of her pulling down Brigham Young's Kassidy Shumway by her ponytail during the Mountain West Conference tournament went viral.

Lambert has been reinstated and is eligible to play for her senior season.

Don't be surprised when you see a steady stream of Mountain West players shaving their heads before playing the Lobos this season.

COMPILED BY ADAM HILL
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL