Don’t fuss over ‘Salary Machine’

The Cleveland Plain Dealer, in an effort to give its readers everything they could need to know about the Cleveland Cavaliers, offers on its Web site a "LeBron James Statistical Bible" and a Cavaliers "Salary Machine."

The Statistical Bible enables fans to access vital information on how James has fared against any team in the NBA. The Salary Machine enables fans to compare their salaries -- annual, monthly and weekly -- to those of any member of the Cavaliers.

In a time-saving measure, Cleveland fans can skip the Salary Machine and memorize one sentence: They make A LOT more than you ever will.

• DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET -- It has taken Los Angeles Lakers fans two games, including Thursday's game, to settle in, study the new designs, get used to the new patterns and accept the new angles for what they are -- dazzling examples of multicolored body art marked all over the Denver Nuggets.

As Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot recently wrote, "If you're turned off by the sight of copious body art, don't watch the multi-tattooed Denver Nuggets. The typical Nuggets player is more inked up than the Sunday edition of The New York Times."

And that includes the crossword puzzle.

• DIFFERENT GAME NOW -- After decades of quarterback play designed apparently to elevate the reputation of Jim McMahon to Namathesque heights, the Chicago Bears are seeing new wrinkles since Jay Cutler has arrived.

After trying to catch a few of Cutler's passes Wednesday, Bears wide receiver Rashied Davis knew the team's offense has stepped up into a brave new world.

Davis told reporters a pass from Cutler "comes fast, and it's on you real quick." He added: "Once you get used to running routes with him and catching the ball from him, it gets a little bit easier. But he throws the ball pretty hard, and the heat is still on the ball 20 yards down the field."

It's a different kind of ball than what most Bears receivers are used to. That ball tended to arrive 20 yards down the field with moss still on it.

• EARLY STUMPING? -- Alaska's Sarah Palin and South Carolina's Mark Sanford already are squaring off -- and the presidential election is three years away.

The two Republican governors, rumored to have aspirations for the 2012 GOP presidential nomination, have a bet on the ECHL's Kelly Cup Finals between the Alaska Aces and South Carolina Stingrays.

Should the Aces win the best-of-7 series, which began Friday, Alaska's most famous "hockey mom" would receive shrimp and grits and she-crab soup from Tristan Restaurant in Charleston.

If the Stingrays win, Sanford would get some Alaska king salmon.

Palin was so confident in her team, she called the wager a no-brainer. And, she said, she could see South Carolina from "land here in Alaska."

• SAD, BUT TRUE -- From Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on Rachel Alexandra becoming the first filly since 1924 to win the Preakness: "Twelve desperate males chasing one favored female? Sounds like any Saturday in any bar in America."

LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL WIRE SERVICES