Free-falling Jets butt of butt jokes

From cornerback Antonio Cromartie's failure to recall the names of all his children to coach Rex Ryan's foot fetish to the team's struggles on the field, the New York Jets have been the butt of jokes in recent years.

In the aftermath of Thursday's 49-19 loss to the New England Patriots, the jokes have been about buttocks, specifically the backside of New York guard Brandon Moore.

Quarterback Mark Sanchez slammed his head into the 305-pound Moore's rump, causing him to fumble, and the Patriots returned it for a touchdown.

"It's the weirdest play I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of plays over my time in football," Moore said.

The bizarre play sums up the Jets' 4-7 season, and Moore is none too pleased to have his posterior associated with it. He'd prefer to put it behind him - no bum intended.

"Yeah, to be part of something like that - it's not something you want to be part of," he said. "The littlest things nowadays turn into Internet sensations. It's not surprising."

Annoyed by the butt cracks - excuse us, cracks about his caboose - Moore claims he sees no humor in the play.

"No," he said, sounding as if he was ready to kick someone's keister.

It might be awhile before he can turn the other cheek.

■ FAREWELL, FIREMAN ED - As if one boot to the bottom of Jets fans wasn't enough, superfan "Fireman Ed" announced his retirement Monday in a guest column for New York's free newspaper, "Metro."

Ed Anzalone, who left Thursday's debacle at halftime, said he doesn't wish to continue leading the J-E-T-S, Jets! Jets! Jets! chant because fans have become too confrontational about his support of Sanchez.

"Whether it's in the stands, the bathroom or the parking lot, these confrontations are happening on a consistent basis," wrote Anzalone, who has worn a Sanchez jersey this season. "Although I can 'hold my own,' I do not want to lose my temper and make a stupid mistake."

Anzalone will continue to attend games as usual, "just not as Fireman Ed."

Maybe he'll make a comeback as Policeman Ed or Milkman Ed. Either way, Ryan said he'll miss his passion.

"If he could play linebacker or whatever, I'd use him," the coach said.

A veteran signal caller, Anzalone probably could play quarterback - provided he could keep his head out of, uh, harm's way.

■ COOL HAND QB - After Robert Griffin III threw for four touchdowns Thursday to lead the Redskins to victory over the Dallas Cowboys, Washington coach Mike Shanahan compared his rookie quarterback to "Cool Hand Luke."

But the reference to the classic 1967 film starring Paul Newman was lost on Griffin, who was born in 1990.

When a reporter asked him after the game, "Do you know who Cool Hand Luke is," the 22-year-old replied, "He must be pretty cool," breaking up the room before conceding, "I don't know who that is."

What we've got here is failure to communicate.

Taking his age into account, we'll give RG3 a pass on this one - if he can eat 50 eggs in an hour.

COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL