Soccer shenanigans gone wild

Naked head-butting and peeing on the pitch.

No, it's not a premise for a risque reality show; it's just another week of professional soccer in Europe.

Stoke City coach Tony Pulis and former England striker James Beattie nearly came to blows after Saturday's 2-0 Premier League loss at Arsenal because of an argument about the players' Christmas party.

When Pulis told his players they had to report for training Monday, Beattie argued that the coach had promised them they could party through the weekend and report to practice Tuesday. This sent Pulis into a rage, reported the Daily Mail.

As he was emerging from the showers in the dressing room, he lunged toward Beattie, and, after the towel he was wearing had fallen to the floor, Pulis attempted to head-butt him.

Pulis later apologized to the team for his outburst but still is expected to get rid of Beattie.

In a separate incident Wednesday in the Champions League, eccentric Stuttgart goalkeeper Jens Lehmann urinated behind the goal during a victory over Unirea Urziceni, soccernet.ESPN reported.

Lehmann, who since has admitted he was as "nervous as never before," ventured behind the goal, dropped to one knee and began to relieve himself in front of 40,000 fans when an attack from the Romanian opponent interrupted him.

Rather than allowing an uncontested goal or incurring a yellow card for leaving the pitch without permission, Lehmann jumped back over the advertising signage and into goal. Stuttgart, unlike its goalie, held on for a 3-1 win.

• JAMARCUS BEING JAMARCUS -- Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell might have said it was "embarrassing" to lose his starting job to Bruce Gradkowski, but the former No. 1 draft pick still appears to have an enormous ego.

Responding to a question Thursday of what people can expect to see when he next plays, Russell referred to himself in the third person.

"A totally different JaMarcus," he said. "People are going to have their opinion, and I really don't pay too much attention to that. I worry about JaMarcus and JaMarcus only."

• SAINTS COST MAN FLAT SCREEN -- A Louisiana man who bet against the New Orleans Saints has lost his 60-inch, high-definition, flat-screen TV to a backyard firing squad, but he also became an Internet star.

Wayne A. Spring told his friends that if the Saints beat the Washington Redskins on Sunday, anyone who wanted could come to his house and shoot his television.

"I was a Saints fan, but it used to be they never could win," he said Thursday. "And there was all that 'who-datting' going on, online, so I decided to go against the grain."

When New Orleans (12-0) rallied to beat the Redskins in overtime, about a dozen Saints fans, toting guns and a case of beer, showed up at his home and shot up Spring's TV in his backyard.

Spring put the video on YouTube and said it had more than 145,000 hits the first three days.

He also said he would not bet against the Saints again.

"I'll be watching the game this weekend on a 13-inch black-and-white set," he said. "I've learned my lesson."

COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL