This team not built for obeying law

Typical team-building exercises can consist of a group going golfing or bowling together. But college football coach Guy Morriss apparently believes committing crime together is the best way to build teamwork and create camaraderie.

At least that's the impression he gave after several members of his Texas A&M-Commerce football team stole all of the Feb. 25 copies of the East Texan, the school's student newspaper that detailed the arrest of two Commerce football players in a drug bust.

"I am proud of my players for doing that," Morriss said. "This was the best team-building exercise we have ever done."

Wow, this guy must have been smoking the pot his players were accused of selling. The best team-building exercise they've done? What were the others? Skipping out together on the tab for a team dinner? Group shoplifting at a local supermarket? Which player can hot-wire the most cars in an hour?

When Morriss was asked if he'd seen the edition of the award-winning paper -- which featured the front-page headline "Football players arrested in drug bust" -- he replied, "I don't read that crap."

Commerce athletic director Carlton Cooper sounds like a real winner, too. Showing the utmost confidence in the academic abilities of the players involved, he said he didn't think they could've planned the theft.

"I don't think they are smart enough to do this on their own," he said.

No, they probably were guided by Cooper and Morriss, a pair of regular Einsteins.

■ YOU GOT NEXT -- Are you one of those guys who claims you can school a WNBA player? Well, the Phoenix Mercury will give you a chance to prove it this month.

The WNBA team will have tryouts for an all-male practice squad March 27.

"I encourage any man who thinks he is on the same level or even thinks he can outplay the women from the Mercury to put his skills to the test and try out for the practice team," Mercury coach Corey Gaines said. "The men who are able to stay on pace at the tryouts will definitely be helpful to my players."

Phoenix hopes to fill a 15-man squad that will scrimmage and train with the Mercury. The tryouts will feature full-court scrimmages and drills.

Those interested must be at least 18 years old and can register at www. phoenixmercury.com through March 25. Those selected will receive a new pair of basketball shoes and tickets to a Phoenix Suns game and a Mercury game.

We were set to try out until we realized we'd have to watch a Mercury game if selected.

■ NICE THREADS -- If Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick had his druthers, he'd be playing for the Carolina Panthers, he told Atlanta radio station Hot 107.9.

"Well, you know, it's close to home," Vick said. "I like the uniforms. You get to play against Atlanta twice a year. Ain't nothing better than playing against your former team, right? So, yeah, that would be a good look, it would be a good look."

He likes the uniforms? Um, Mike, as a convicted felon, shouldn't you be happy to be wearing any uniform other than an orange jumpsuit?

COMPILED BY TODD DEWEY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL