Wordsmith Popovitch announces Parker absence

Anyone who has ever watched one of Gregg Popovich’s on-court interviews during NBA broadcasts knows he is the undisputed king of uncomfortable, awkward moments with reporters where he attempts to say as little as possible of substance.

The San Antonio Spurs coach took his expertise in vagary to a whole new level on Tuesday in announcing the indefinite absence of his star point guard.

Popovich announced Tony Parker will be out “for the foreseeable future” with a “variety of maladies.”

Thanks for the update, coach.

He went on to say there really just isn’t a specific injury to report, he just wants Parker to rest up from all the wear and tear that has been built up from the Spurs long playoff runs and Parker’s summers with the French national team.

According to ESPN.com, Parker agreed with his coach’s decision.

“The main thing with Pop, he doesn’t want me to play 50 percent, 60 percent,” Parker said. “That’s the main thing. He wants me to get all of my little stuff healed. So however much time it takes, next time I come back on the court he wants me to be 100 percent.

“Against Charlotte, against Detroit, I was not myself. He just doesn’t want me to play like that.”

Too bad Popovich doesn’t coach the Lakers. He could just assess his entire franchise in the same way he described the reason for Parker’s absence.

A variety of maladies that won’t be fixed for the foreseeable future.