A cure for the wandering eye

On page 14 of my local newspaper (The Las Vegas Review-Journal and, yes, I still read newspapers in the morning like all good Americans should) there appeared a story titled: "Chemical reactions explain social, sexual monogamy."

The essence of the Slate.com piece was this: There's a hormone called oxytocin that (at least in part) keeps human lovers faithful to each other.

The chemical helps us listen to our better angels in the romance department. As Jack Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets" told Helen Hunt  -- "You make me want to be a better man."

Anyway, the story goes on to say that oxytocin might explain the Gen. David Petraeus sex scandal, now so prevalent in the news. If the former CIA director and war hero had taken a good whiff of oxytocin, he might have resisted the temptation to cheat on his wife.

Which raises other questions like: Were Jack Kennedy and his brother, Ted, oxytocin deficient? Can it run in the family? Does it work on gay wandering eyes, too? And, what of polygamists?

Apparently, we are so close to finding a cure for bad sexual behavior, there may still be hope for Bill Clinton.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Science has limits.

PS: I understand there is a special meeting of the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce this morning to outlaw the drug in the city. Forget Internet gambling, nothing threatens Las Vegas commerce more than rampant monogamy. If R&R Advertising thought it had its work cut out for itself marketing Las Vegas in the Obama economy, imagine doing it post-oxytocin.