CHURCH OF TWAIN: Palin treats her state like a territory

Alaska became the 49th state on Jan. 3, 1959. It’s a big place with more caribou than residents, and it stretches out bigger than many nations. Unless a volcano erupts or its governor wins a lottery and gets named someone’s vice presidential running mate, it’s also a long way from the national media spotlight.

Surely none of this surprises Gov. Sarah Palin, who announced she’s quitting office before the end of her term. The Sunday pundits on CNN batted around the possibility that this is some inspired political strategy and not just one more example of her erratic behavior. (I noticed no one speculated that there might be some ethics scandal ready to break.)

I’ve said it before and I’ll repeat it. Palin is a goner. She polls well with conservatives, but that’s not going to do much more than boost the sales of her upcoming book. It won’t get her elected to the highest office in the land, and her crossover appeal is essentially zero.

Of course, St. Mark of Missouri never met Sarah Palin. But he did know a thing or two about life in a territory, having kicked around Nevada for a couple years. He also knew something about the nature of territorial governors, which Palin closely resembles in my opinion.

He wrote in his autobiography, “Territorial Governors -- are nothing but politicians who go out to the outskirts of countries and suffer the privations there in order to build up stakes and come back as United States Senators.”

Maybe Palin just brings bigger than her predecessors.