Family Institute of Nevada has partnered with Solace Tree to provide grief counseling

It is hard enough losing a child, parent, sibling, relative or even a friend.

Yet unresolved grief can lead to a downward spiral and contribute to social issues such as homelessness, high prison rates, alcoholism and drug addictions, said Erin Breen, the program coordinator of Solace Tree, which provides grief support groups.

"Unresolved grief can lead to a life of crippling results," Breen said.

According to a study conducted by the National Alliance for Grieving Children, 11 percent of people will lose a parent by the time they reach 20, and 15 percent will lose either a parent or sibling.

"It is a real issue ," Breen said.

Breen said she has encountered the mentality that children will be fine if they don't talk about their grief because they can just grow out of it.

Breen refutes that with a story from another counselor . The counselor talked about a 67-year-old woman who was a child when she lost a parent to pancreatic cancer.

"She went through her entire life without getting help," Breen said.

When the woman finally talked to the counselor, she was able to recall feelings as if the event had just happened.

Breen thinks there are resources that can help people, including Solace Tree Las Vegas, a program offering a peer-to-peer support group to help people cope with their grief. Solace Tree recently teamed up with Family Institute of Nevada, 3663 E. Sunset Road, which has been offering drug counseling and mental health programs for the past four years.

"As cliche as it sounds, it helps people find solace," Breen said.

Breen said children and youths ages 8 to 16 often force their grief aside.

"They want to be the same as their friends -- to be cookie-cutter," Breen said. "Their friends might not have lost a parent, so they won't confide in them because they don't want to be seen as different."

If a family has lost either a sibling or a parent, children might not confide in a parent because of the fear of making the parent sadder.

"But here, they are like everyone else," Breen said.

Solace Tree does ask parents to be honest with their children about the circumstances behind a loved one's death.

"Sometimes parents tell their children their (other parent) died of a heart attack when it was a suicide," Breen said. "Years later, they find out it was suicide. It is almost like they have to start the grieving process over again. You don't want to have to deal with that anger."

Solace Tree was started in 2002 by Emilio Parga, a counselor and third-grade teacher at a school in Washoe County .

"He had a little kid in his class whose father committed suicide," Breen said.

But the problem was that it wasn't an isolated occurrence. Suicide and death had become more common, or at least Parga began to notice that it was more prevalent among his children.

Parga found The Dougy Center, a grief center, in Oregon and asked how he could be trained as a grief counselor. He took the grief counseling model from The Dougy Center and brought it to Reno, Carson City, Gardnerville and now Las Vegas.

"That was nine years ago," Breen said.

Solace Tree's first grief counseling orientation in Southern Nevada was Nov. 17. Attendance is open to everyone. Children's sessions, which are scheduled for the same time as adults, are geared differently to help children process their grief.

Sessions are scheduled for Mondays, and orientation meetings are set for the last Thursday of the month.

"We encourage people to come to the orientation session so they know what they are getting into," Breen said. "The only requirement we ask is for people to commit to three sessions to determine if this is a fit for them."

Breen said the center might expand to have a separate grieving session for mothers who miscarried or who had an infant die.

"It is a different kind of loss," Breen said. "As women come forward with the need, we will offer a session that is convenient for them."

For more information, visit solacetree.org or call 280-7689.

Contact Henderson/Anthem View reporter Michael Lyle at mlyle@viewnews.com or 387-5201.