Lobbying? I’m shocked. SHOCKED!

Let's talk about the mysteries of lobbying.

Sen. John Ensign's soap opera sexcapades made front page news again last week. The New York Times reported that as a weird kind of make-good for poking Doug Hampton's wife, Cindy, Sen. Ensign set up Doug into a Las Vegas lobbying business and promised him three big clients from which to start. But, as the world turned, Doug felt his former boss only made good on two of the clients thereby forcing him to reveal the scheme.

Ensign ain't sayin' nothin' in part, I suspect, because he finds himself in potential deeper trouble as political opponents sense an ethics violation turning into an illegal lobbying deal. Funny how political opponents recoil at the lapses of enemies, but not their friends ... Dodd, Frank, Rangel ... oh my!

But I will not use double standards to excuse anyone's failure to do the public good.

If Ensign did so, he should suffer the consequences (whatever it is).

But let's just remember a few things. Sen. Harry Reid was the subject of a lot of attention from the L.A. Times regarding the lobbying efforts of his sons. Feel free to review the story here. He should get the same attention and treatment (whatever it is).

And while we're on the warpath, let's not overlook the center of the planet for lobbying efforts -- the White House. Remember when wanna-be president Barack Obama placed his hand over his heart and told voters how he was going to root out lobbyists and make 100 percent sure they didn't have a seat at the table of government decision making?

That was a campaign lie.

Lobbyists have been part of back-room deals with Obama and his Administration from Day One. For a pretty good rundown, for example, of how the brother of the architect of Obama's transition team, John Podesta, has made a killing lobbying the White House, take a look at this Frank Rich column. It's an eye-opener.

Pay special note to how former Sen. Tom Daschle avoids registering as a lobbyist (wink-wink).

Want to expose back-room deals and other sins of lobbying?

I'm with you, sister. But listen, we're gonna need more than this shovel. We're going to need some heavy equipment.

And, before we start the inspection, forgive me if I burlesque this important commentary: "There's lobbying going on? I'm shocked. SHOCKED!"