Religious pluralism tall order when culture lacking in grown-ups

Is there one God and one path? Or one God and many paths?

I have been reading Thomas Friedman's work on the Middle East, and he is of a mind that peace between Christians, Jews and Muslims depends on some form of (at least) tolerance of each others' religious paths. He points out the failure of moderate Muslims to stand and condemn the extremist actions and Arab governments to educate their children in theological respect for others.

As someone who (practices Native American spirituality) and experienced the prejudice of the dominant faith in America, this makes sense to me as a prerequisite to coexistence in the world. Everything else seems to be one form or another of what I would call "theological arrogance."

-- J.K.

Apache Wells, Ariz.

The human heart contains darkness. About that there can be no doubt. And we tend to behave especially badly when we're afraid. And we're afraid of pluralism. See, pluralism contains paradox and ambiguity. Humans hate that. We prefer it much simpler. My ego's measure of "cool" begins and ends with itself. It's only real question is, "Are you like me?"

Then, of course, when I succeed in getting everybody to be like me, my ego will begin to act out to distinguish itself. My ego's goal is to be unique and to have everybody agree with me. Hmm ...

The human ego is diminished by pluralism. We're threatened because pluralism makes us "smaller." It overwhelms our identity. We don't know how to "exist" unless we build a hierarchy that tells us we exist. Our preferred hierarchy is Identity By Negation: I'm not poor, I'm not gay, I'm not homeless, I'm not uneducated, I'm not Serbian, I'm not Muslim ... ah, now I exist. Now I know who I am. Because I know who I am not. Whew.

Jean-Paul Sartre said, "I think, therefore I am." A human ego says, "I condescend, therefore I am."

So, historically, cultural beings have practiced xenophobia and worked hard to identify, marginalize or punish people too far out of the norm.

Religion draws xenophobia the way roadkill draws flies. It sounds like we're having an argument about truth or holiness or morality. But we're actually hearing a carefully scripted pathology: I'm threatened unless/until everyone agrees with me and sees the world the way I do.

In clinical terms, people who wrap their threatened egos in oppressive religious systems lack sufficient differentiation. In simpler terms, they need to grow up!

By the way, you'll see this exact same dynamic on a micro level in alienated marriages. Our spouses are not us. And embracing the "other" threatens an immature psyche. So we push away. Our once beloved appears now to be the alien. What we don't know is that we are the ones who have thus transformed our mate. And we've done it for our own psychological convenience.

Significant religious systems tend to be universalized. That's what makes them significant. Their truth becomes the measure of all truth. Now, on the one hand, this makes sense. Why else would you join a religion unless you thought its truth was true? A religion wouldn't have much staying power if it was seen merely as a personal preference, such as, I prefer Wendy's if I'm forced to eat fast food, but can be content with Jack in the Box if push comes to shove.

So, on the one hand, we can hardly criticize (for example) a Christian who believes that the life of Jesus is a definitive revelation of God, because this is the very definition of a Christian. No, the question is, can this Christian extend genuine hospitality and respect to a human being who is equally certain the life and teachings of Siddhartha are the definitive revelation?

The problem with universalizing religious truth is that anyone not a member of my religion doesn't fit in my universe. And that makes them alien. It's harder to remember to practice hospitality to aliens than it is to remember to practice hospitality to kin.

Maybe that's why the Hebrew Bible so stridently pounds on that ethos: Hospitality and kindness to the alien, the stranger, the sojourner. If you get lost in the countryside of Israel, and wander hungry to a Jewish home, you won't get tracts and pamphlets and invitations to synagogue. Nobody will push you to convert to Judaism. Nope, what you'll get is directions and quite possibly an invitation to sit, eat and drink.

Friedman is right. But what he's asking of us is simply huge. Rich pluralism can only be forged and enjoyed by "psychological grown-ups." Fundamentalist anything doesn't promote grown-ups.

For that matter, our current culture doesn't promote grown-ups.

Originally published in View News, March 31, 2009.