Spoiler alert: Gophers lose; irate fan arrested

Have you ever tried to record a televised sporting event and avoid all mention of the outcome so that you can watch it later?

It's more difficult than it sounds. In cases like this, it is important to go in fresh, and it always seems like the world is conspiring against you.

People who know you haven't watched the game often make vague statements about it, either to try to protect you from spoilers or, in some particularly annoying cases, to mess with you as you do everything in your power not to hear even the tiniest detail.

Even the most innocent-seeming statements, such as, "Oh, it was a good game," can be crushing. That implies that if you're watching early and one team goes ahead, you know the other team is going to come back.

Then you start to get crazy. You think, "Wait, maybe that person was messing with me, and it wasn't a good game. Maybe they're not going to make a comeback, and it's a blowout. Why do they do this to me?"

Basically, you don't want to know anything about the game.

So imagine you make it through the day without any of that nonsense, and you finally get a chance to watch the game.

As the action starts to heat up, a utility worker outside is blasting sports talk radio as she works on the power lines outside.

Of course, the subject on the sports talk show is the game that you are trying to watch.

So it's easy to understand why, as the Minneapolis Star Tribune reports and Deadspin passes along, Eagan, Minn., resident Dan Drobac lost his mind, threatening to kill the utility worker and throwing a large kitchen knife at her.

The woman called police, who couldn't make contact with Drobac, and so the SWAT team was brought in.

Of course the police couldn't make contact; he probably put on headphones to avoid hearing anything else from the rude lady outside listening to the radio.

After nearly three hours, the 32-year-old Drobac was arrested and charged with felony terroristic threats.

To make matters worse, his Gophers lost to Michigan in the basketball game he had been so excited to watch.

If there is a silver lining, Drobac won't have to worry about recording any games to watch later in prison.

■ SPIRIT FINGERS - A fun "Spirit Week" activity turned horrifying at South El Monte High School in Southern California on Monday.

A boy and a girl who were participating in a tug-of-war game during lunch each lost multiple fingers when the rope, which was wrapped around their hands, snapped.

The boy lost four fingers from his right hand. There are conflicting reports on the girl's injuries. The Associated Press account says she either lost four fingers on her right hand and the thumb on her left hand or three fingers on one hand and two on the other.

"They're awake and alert," Los Angeles County-University of Southern California Medical Center spokeswoman Rosa Sacca said. "Parents are at their bedsides."

Both students were athletes. It remains unclear if doctors were able to reattach the digits.

According to the AP account, the district also plans to review policies to see if any need to be changed regarding tug-of-war games.

We're going to say yes.

COMPILED BY ADAM HILL
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL