Sending Christmas list to Santa

I have enough coal to build a fortress of solitude out of fossil fuels complete with adjacent moat and parking garage.

So you see, Santa, you need to bring me something different this year.

Here are my Christmas wishes, the things I want the most, big guy:

A Terrestrial Radio Station That Matters

Now that satellite radio has eaten terrestrial radio's lunch and those payola lovin' hacks at corporate broadcasting giants like Clear Channel have turned the airwaves into an aural armpit, it may finally be the time to rebuild the whole mess from scratch.

Wouldn't it be kind of nice if DJs actually picked songs they wanted to hear, as opposed to simply acquiescing to a national playlist that artists pay to be on? Or if independent and local acts had a chance to get some real exposure? Hard to imagine, I know, kind of like anyone with a pulse tuning in to FM radio to begin with these days.

Less Crying At Rock Shows

Let's face it, when it comes to concert going, Vegas has some of the worst audiences imaginable. Sure, we can blame it on the tourists, that self-entitled lot that gets comped to shows by artists they've never even heard of and kill the vibe for everyone else (see Lauryn Hill's gig at Red Rock's Sandbar this summer, for example).

But mainly, it's Las Vegans' penchant for throwing hissy fits any time someone dares get on their feet during a show -- even at the performer's behest. I seriously don't think I've seen a concert at a major venue in this town where someone isn't grumbling at someone else for having the audacity to stand up and rock out during -- wait for it -- a friggin' rock show.

If you don't want to leave your seat, fine -- there's plenty of times that I don't. But don't cry about it if someone else does. If you're too old, lazy or lame to join in on the fun, do everyone a favor and stay home.

More All-Ages Venues

What is this, "Footloose"? Not sure why this city insists on making it so difficult for teens to congregate at all-ages music venues, but by cracking down on The Alley and insisting that venues be at least 150 feet away from any place that sells booze (even gas stations) local clubs of this nature have the option of a) moving to another city or b) trying to make a go of it at the bottom of Lake Mead.

Man, where's Kevin Bacon when you need him? And yes, that was the first time in recorded history that question has ever been posed.

A Led Zeppelin Tour

This has to finally happen, right? The greatest hard rock band of all time, kicking butt and singing about hobbits. Sure, John Bonham can never be replaced and Robert Plant is no longer a sex god in painted-on jeans that require a month of fasting to squeeze in to, but so what? This band's catalog still has never been topped. Enlist Leonard Cohen as the opener, and my life's work will be complete and I can retire.

Now that's something you can all get behind.

Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@reviewjournal.com or (702) 383-0476.