Sending out some love notes

Love is in the air. Somebody get the Glade.

Sure, Valentine's Day is just around the corner, but instead of professing your feelings for your better half, how about saluting things that really matter?

As usual, I'm here to help. Here's who I'm sending my valentines to this year. Go ahead, follow my lead, dudes.

The sleeveless jean jacket: Ah, that staple of '80s heavy metal fashion is back, thanks to the wild-eyed wasteoids in bands like Municipal Waste, Dekapitator and Toxic Holocaust who've ignited a full-on thrash revival of late. What's next? The return of white high-tops and ultra-tight, sperm-count-reducing Levi's?

Seriously, there aren't enough tunes about shark attacks and beer bongs, set to blazing riffs and stampeding drums, all topped off by hoarse vocals suggestive of a phelgmatic minotaur. To get up to full speed, check out the poseur mincing new "Thrashin' Like a Maniac" compilation on Earache, which brings you up to date on all the new heavies.

The Mars Volta: Rock's most persistent navel gazers, The Mars Volta is prone to more wankery than your 13-year-old kid brother. Mercifully, the band's new disc, "The Bedlam in Goliath," is a gripping return to form. Yeah, it's as overwrought as ever, with nine-minute tunes and inscrutable lyrics befitting a stoned yoga instructor. But check out the bracing "Metatron," where the band's ambitiousness blossoms into an explosion of progressive hard rock, Latin percussion and punk rock vitriol. Believe it or not, there are actual songs this time around.

Leonard Cohen: Leonard Cohen possesses one of those voices -- wizened, lived in, centuries old it seems -- that sounds like something that descended from Mount Olympus. And so when the reclusive singer recently announced that he was planning to tour for the first time in decades, it was like a hosanna from high above.

Cohen's catalog is a master's work of heartache and resolve, of exquisite sadness and carnal bliss. He's so human it hurts, but seeing him live would numb at least a little of that magnificent sting.

Three Doors Down: After Creed called it a day, the hunt's long been on for the new pound-for-pound kings of musical crapitude. At long last, it's safe to anoint Three Doors Down as the latest double flusher du jour. Sure, for years now the band has been cranking out middling modern rock with all the personality of a tire iron, but with their new National Guard-approved anthem "Citizen Soldier," they've taken the cake -- and promptly ralphed on it.

Now, deciding to serve one's country in the armed forces is a serious, life-changing decision. It shouldn't be trivialized by jingoist propaganda aimed at stirring up the emotions of teenagers. So thanks guys, for making it so easy to replace the punching bag that was Scott Stapp and company. My cush job just got that much easier. Nap time!

Jason Bracelin's "Sounding Off" column appears on Tuesdays. Contact him at 383-0476 or e-mail him at jbracelin@ reviewjournal.com.