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THE WATER COOLER

Here are a few things in news, entertainment and popular culture that we've been talking about lately.

* The Vatican forgives John Lennon for saying in 1966 that the group was more popular than Jesus. Says Copernicus, who had to wait about 300 years for a Vatican nevermind: "Excuse me? I could do 42 years standing on my head."

* Rosie O'Donnell and Barbara Walters feuded again over "The View." Hillary Clinton will mediate, figuring that anything she might possibly face as secretary of state would prove a comparative cakewalk.

* An Arkansas man sues McDonald's after nude photos of his wife, stored on a forgotten cell phone that restaurant employees retrieved, appear on the Internet. Happy meal indeed.

* Hillary Clinton reportedly admits that she's disenchanted and disappointed with the U.S. Senate. Yeah, her and 305 million Americans.

* Madonna and Guy Ritchie officially divorce. According to the settlement, Ritchie retains custody of half of the couple's community property and Madonna retains custody of most of the British Isles' ego.

By JOHN PRZYBYS

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