Things can be more complicated than they appear

Despite what it might seem, this is not a political column. It's a column about us. Us Americans. It's about what's become of us in our political process. The news isn't good. Not for me, anyway. Admittedly, my view is one part clinical and one part personal. I'll be utterly transparent about both.

Clinically, I default to a systemic view of human beings and relationships. In this view, there is, strictly speaking, no such thing as individual behavior, though certainly I insist on individual responsibility.

No 16-year-old wakes up on a random Tuesday and burns down the gym at his high school "just cuz." Again, while our society has every right and reason to hold the vandal responsible for the action, the explanations for such behavior are much more complicated than "he's a bad, naughty kid."

I see things systemically in my practice. A marriage is not merely two individuals; it's a system. A family is not merely two adults, kids and a dog; it's a system. A business culture is not merely individual supervisors and employees. A neighborhood is not merely a geographic identification of individual neighbors. And our country does not merely consist of individual citizens. To see things systemically is to believe that, when it comes to human relationships, the whole is always greater than the sum of the parts.

If you care at all about the answer to the questions "What's going on?" ... "What happened and why?," then your answer will always be bigger than "That individual made an individual decision." For me, this view is both ontic and values-based - it is a mark of humility.

Systemic therapists (see Murray Bowen) bring to the table the prejudice that some systems are healthier than others. That healthy marital, family and community systems engender and invite healthier individual choices. That unhealthy systems provoke unhappy symptoms and choices. If you ask me what I do for a living, I'll often smile and say, "I tinker with the system." Meaning, I try to insert new dynamics in the system in hopes of promoting greater health.

Viewed systemically, our political system is no bastion of health. Especially on the national level, the days are long gone when a statesman ran for office by articulating a vision for America that he/she believes is right, true and effective. Nope - now people get elected by engendering fear and loathing for their opponent. It's not "Vote for me because my ideas for the economy make sense," it's "Vote for me because if you vote for the other guy we're all gonna die."

Families do this all the time. They bring me the "identified patient." The person with the problem. The person who is bad, naughty, crazy, etc. Everything would be fine if this individual behaved better. If there's a bad, naughty or crazy person in your family, then the system has a problem, too.

I have a credibility test for anyone with passionate political views, be they left or right. Are you a Democrat? Then tell me about a Republican whose values and intelligence you respect. Even if you don't agree with all the ideas, you know he/she loves America. If you're a Republican, tell me about a Democrat you likewise respect. If you can do that, I'll listen. Because it can't be true that all Democrats are stupid and hate America. Nor can that be true about Republicans.

But no. Vote for Obama because Romney is a greedy, rich, fat cat who hates poor people and hasn't paid his taxes in 12 years. Vote for Romney because Obama is a Marxist/Communist who believes that no successful U.S. citizen had anything to do with his own success. No matter that both charges are patently ridiculous.

Which brings me to what's personal here for me. It's a glitch in my personality. I admit that it's ego-driven, and not in a good way. The fastest way to pique my contempt and anger is to talk to me as if I was stupid. It makes me forget my manners.

From now until November, Obama and Romney are going to talk to me as if I was stupid. Perhaps they will share a few visions and ideas. But mostly they will take turns attaching conspiracy theories to each other, in hopes that I will be afraid. This is the world we have made.

Steven Kalas is a behavioral health consultant and counselor at Las Vegas Psychiatry and the author of "Human Matters: Wise and Witty Counsel on Relationships, Parenting, Grief and Doing the Right Thing" (Stephens Press). His columns appear on Sundays. Contact him at 227-4165 or skalas@reviewjournal .com.