What to expect after the graduation party

It's graduation time, and I know all of you young men and women in the class of 2011 are eagerly awaiting the moment when you are thrust out into the world on your own, ready to tackle your dreams, excited to take on the responsibility of making your own way, making your own choices, making your own mistakes, making your own bed ... or not ... it's up to you! And, let me tell you, it's a blast!

Of course, unless you've already gotten a job in your chosen field (congratulations to Susie Jefferson, John Cavanaugh, and ... uh ...), you'll be heading home to Mom and Dad's for a while as you send out resumes and "weigh all your options."

The problem is that all that "making your own choices" stuff mostly won't fly if you're living at home. Remember the old "my house, my rules" thing? Well, you may be 22 years old and you may have been living at college doing your own thing for four years, but when you're home, you still belong to them!

(In fact, a word of warning: When you are 35 and visit Mom and Dad with your own personal, grown-up family still their rules! The good thing is that when they visit you in your own personal, grown-up house, you can hit them with your rules, which, of course, they'll laugh at and disregard, because ... well, they're your parents.)

Then, after you take a few weeks off to relax, meet up with old high school friends (who've also graduated and come home) and hang out at the old hangouts, and after you send out scores of resumes -- and hear more "No's" than you've heard since you tried to get to second base with Marilyn Schumick in junior high -- and after your mother stops crying because you're "finally home!" and starts approaching the laundry room as if it contains an alligator that's out of its cage, and after your Dad stops grinning and smacking you on the back whenever he passes, and begins to leave the Classifieds sitting in your bathroom sink ... at that point, you'll want to check out some local employment.

Your first inclination might be to get a few of those friends together and start up the old band again. As a college graduate, you'd be in much higher demand at high school dances than you were in 10th grade, and with all the technological developments in the past four years, there would be multiple cool names you could try, such as The Hard Drives, or The EmotiConvicts or maybe The Pixelated Screen Savers!

The problem with this plan is that, invariably, someone from the old band, like the lead singer, won't be available, so you'll try to substitute your Great-Uncle Earl, who's retired now, but once sang with The Manhattan Transfer and thinks he wants to get back into the business. This is not a good idea on so many levels, and may, in Great-Uncle Earl's case, swiftly result in a stroke.

So, even though your plan was to work for a multinational company in New York for a year, followed by a reassignment to their offices in London or Rome ... well, Pizza Hut's not so bad, with tips, and all the pizza you can eat, plus you get to put that little Pizza Hut sign that lights up on top of your car! How cool is that!

Or, if you're a young lady -- not that a young lady wouldn't work at Pizza Hut, which certainly has its share of lovely and talented female college graduates -- you also could look into being a nanny, especially if you start in the summer.

Take a couple of weeks off first, just long enough to give parents a chance to "enjoy" the reality of having young children at home all day whining about having nothing to do. By about June 20, those mothers will be offering you more money than any multinational company on earth. They'll give you a car in which to schlep their little punkins, they'll stock their cupboards with all your favorite foods and they'll give you a free pass to their country club pool. Shoot, if you wait to accept the job until the very end of June, you might score grad school tuition!

After you land this good local job, you're just a hop, skip and jump away from getting your own place, which should be way across town from your parents, for the good of all involved. Of course, you'll have to save up for the deposit, but having no bills of your own, this will be a piece of cake. Or, you could have the band over to practice at your parents' house four or five days a week, and abracadabra: They'll give you the deposit ... and possibly the entire contents of their refrigerator!

Vicki Wentz's column, which appears here on Sundays, is published in newspapers across the country. She is a high school teacher who lives in Chapel Hill, N.C. Readers may contact her at vwentz@mindspring.com.